Pregnant and feel like my relationship is over

[Mumtobenovember]

Me and DP have been together 3 years and I am 7 months pregnant with our first child. we have had our ups and downs split a couple of times but only for a couple of days after a huge row. I went through a phase of extreme insecurity and anxiety and depression last year and it caused problems- I went through therapy and things improved but since I have been pregnant it's all coming back I feel utterly horrible and he is a shit! He just thinks all I do is moan he does not understand.. He looks after himself and had a fit body etc and I feel like a disgusting mess I don't have "the glow" I have a huge ass with my newly found cellulite garden- spots and crazy hair and huge ankles while he saunters around looking all nice and going to the gym every evening I feel like hes looking at all the skinny toned beauties at the gym and then comes home to free willy and her unkept lady garden (I can't see it) I feel so so so shitty and can't stop crying I feel like I'm losing it!!! I'm stalking his movements and feel suspicious all the time and I have no reason to!!! HELP

I can't advise on the gym bunny DP though I suspect he'll find a baby cramps his busy evening gym sessions. Just wanted to say I was a whale with cankles and pitting oedema, prickly heat rash by the end of both my pregnancies. Things do go back to normal (if you can stay off the large lattes and muffins to combat tiredness), so try not to beat yourself up about the changes your body is going through. Your DP sounds pretty selfish, so I hope he shapes up before bub arrives.

I understand what you're going through as I suffer from depression too and I too feel like sometimes I don't love myself so how can My partner love me. Men are men, they don't get the hormones we contend with, they also find it hard to understand why we get emotional. Best advice I can give you ... Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself and you are going to be a great mother. That woman in the mirror can do amazing things. Yes, you may be feeling crappy now, but you are doing what so many others are doing, we're all in it together.

Aw honey! You feel awful, but the rest of the world thinks you're glorious!
Don't do anything rash about your DP. If there's one thing about being pg that I remember, it's that my hormones made every niggle into a mountain of hurt and frustration. Looking back, I was over reacting and hyper sensitive, but I didn't see that at the time.
I'm not saying you're the same. You might be perfectly sane. Just don't make any big decisions just yet.
DP will support you more as the time approaches, and the baby will certainly kick his priorities into touch.

Have you got a spa near you that does the mummy-to-be type massages? Book one. They're lovely. And whilst you're there maybe get some other treatments to perk up your self esteem.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Good luck with DP, and the birth. X

Awh thanks everyone your kind words have made me feel a bit better thank you xxxxx

Oh mumtobe, you do have such a way with words - seriously, you should write for a living. You are funny.

Of course, this situation is far from funny though, i just hoped that cheers you a little bit, you are clearly very bright lady who is struggling a lot.

I recognise quite a bit of myself in your posts, in terms of the depression/anxiety and insecurity. I don't however have a gym bunny DP. mine is more of a gym walrus! I think you need to go back to your GP and tell him how you have been feeling with the anxiety and depression. It is really important that you get some support, especially if you do have PND. I don't want to worry you (but of course it will) you are more likely to suffer from PND if you are prone to depression. So forwarned is forarmed. You need support in place, be that counselling or medication. There are some medications that are safe during pregnancy and breast-feeding. Yeah, booking yoruself a spa day will be nice, but honestly, that is a piss in the ocean when dealing with depression.

I am worried that your DP actually IS an arsehole (sorry, have read your other thread) and punching the wall (despite being frustrated) is really not on. How the fucking hell dare he. Maybe if he paid a bit more attention to you then you wouldnt feel so shit about yourself.

Your hormones are also giving you a hard time too so please don't be too hard on yourself. Go and speak to your gp or your midwife and tell them. Then they can help you.

and you need to keep your strength up!