Help, 44 not sure who's life im living ,

[craftymoo60]

Hi, I was in a 5yr relationship, my adult son didnt really get on with partner (too alike i think). My son needed to move back home but my partner wanted it to be a temp 3 month or so, until my son got sorted. my parents then turned against my partner too and i felt i was trapped in the middle.
I felt that i was being made to choose so after pressure from parents chose my son, even though i loved my partner.
5 months down the line, realize i have made a huge mistake, son walking all over me, parents walking all over me, but not enough courage to stand up to them.
im back in contact with ex, have even been going out. i miss him terribly and dont know what to do.
all advice with be gratefully recieved

Why didn't they like your partner? Can you give any examples of what was happening between him and your son?

My advice would be to live your own life. Your son is an adult, and so doesn't (shouldn't) have a say in how you live. Did you move back into your parents house with your DP and your adult son? I can see how that might not work out, with five adults all living in one house ...

Can you move out to your own place, and start living as you want to - including seeing your DP?

I have a health condition that requires me to need some help with little tasks that i cant do. (alot i try and do myself) . My family feel he never did enough for me, but they didnt see all the little meaningful things he did, that helped me more than anything. My illness also causes depression,which had taken hold off me about 6 months or so ago, (probably another reason i went with the flow). They didnt see us when we were alone !
My ex is a very private person.
My son just used to avoid him towards the end as he felt angry, assuming it was partner getting me down

No BatshitCrazywoman, i have a home that my son has moved into

Why not continue to live with your son (setting some ground rules so he doesn't walk all over you), keep your parents at arm's length (say 'yes' then do what the heck you want) and have your ex as a happy lover?

If you depend on your DPs and DS to, say, dress you, feed you. Then they are going to figure largely in your life and you may as well give in and go along with it.

If you aren't so dependent on them then stop letting them rule you. Your son will be off with a partner and a family of his own soon. Though he probably can't see that far ahead. Who cares what your DPs thought of your partner, it is your decision, you are an adult, its your decision not theirs.