Communication problems with boyfriend

[Annoyedvirgo]

Hello am new to mums met but was recommended to me by a friend of mine who it really helped & so thought I would give it a try.

Query; in conversation with my other half we end up arguing when I don't hear what is said & ask for said comment to repeated, I'm met the the response of 'don't worry it wasn't important' & then he will not repeat what was said. This may sound ridiculous but my hearing really isn't great & find myself ever more asking for him to repeat what was said & then met with refusal again. Why can't he just repeat & RFLP me out?

I have no idea! How bloody annoying and passive aggressive is that?! It would drive me mad!

He's being extremely unkind. Anyone deliberately exploiting someone's physical weakness in order to get one over on them in a discussion doesn't sound like a very nice person at all.

He's proving a point. How utterly petty. What else does he do?

This point alone is a red flag as far as I'm concerned.

Ugh thats pretty nasty.
I have done this myself though, but only after repeating myself about 4 times for something really unimportant, ie, its a bit drizzly outside. After the last , what? Ill say, oh nothing, but dp will know its something mundane like ive said. Likewise, on the same line of chatter he won't acknowledge ive spoken ev3n though he's heard me perfectly. I do chatter a lot of mundane stuff though.

Unkind and rude.

He is kind & loving & am sure he doesn't mean it he just doesn't seem to understand. I did blow up a bit though when he said 'now I now it annoys you I'll carry on ha ha' . Think I reached a limit today. He was only messing around & feel I may have over reacted by shouting. It's not the end of the world just feels like the Venus versus Mars thing!

Messing around? Every time? I don't buy that.

He doesn't mean it? He doesn't understand? I really don't like people who claim they are only joking or messing around when they're doing or saying something hurtful or antagonistic. Right up there with 'lighten up' and 'you've got no sense of humour'. Nothing to do with men/women or various planets, just mean-spirited and unkind.

Thank you for the help. It made me feel better hearing your feedback. Am going to keep an eye on the situation & review. I know he loves me but I sometimes worry his behaviour can be a little controlling x

There are lots of good decent men out there who aren't 'a little controlling' or who are mean spirited when you ask him to repeat something often. That is deliberate make no mistake.

Don't settle for second best or believe you won't find someone else. Life is so short. Listen to your gut instincts and consider reading Lundy Bancroft's book called Why Does he Do That. It may flag up other things he does too.

I know only what you've posted so far but I feel uncomfortable about him already.