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Family destroyed by secrets that aren't secret any more.

1 reply

chubbyhez · 13/08/2014 11:30

I have 2 older sisters (technically half sisters although it's never been thought of like that). Mum was married, had them, divorced, met my dad, married, then had me. There's 10/11 years between us. Their bio dad was never around.

Great childhood, string family unit. All remained close even after moving out. Sister 1 living up the road from mum and dad. Sister 2 had I in neighbouring towns. Birthdays, Christmas, Sunday dinners all together, grandchildren at mum and dads lots.

It's all been a lie. Dad sexually abused (inappropriate touching on 3 occasions in one week) ds1 when she was 14 not long after I was born. She told ds2 about 15 years ago. Both of their husbands knew. Mum and I didn't until 2 weeks ago it all came out. Dad not denying, admits it was wrong, is ashamed.

Now it's like we've been blown apart. They (ds1 and 2) say they hate dad, always have (ds2 since finding out) but that doesn't make sense to me. They haven't kept any distance between them and dad. Have let him pay for weddings, cars, holidays, let him spend weekends fixing cars, went on holiday, bought him big presents - there's been no sign to mum or i that all was not well. He's a first class grandad to their kids, they've never made any attempt to keep him at arms length.

Now they're telling me they hate dad. They don't understand why I've been to see him,since finding out or why mum hasn't kicked him out.

I hate what he did. But he's not been,an out and out bastard all our lives. That would be easy.

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 13/08/2014 18:48

Hi all, just posting to say that this thread has been reported a number of times already. We do appreciate that this issue can be hugely upsetting, but could we ask you to bear in mind that this is the Relationships board, an area traditionally associated with a more gentle approach to supporting our members?

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