Really don't want to sleep in desperate beds!

[Bangonthedoor]

Couldn't really find a suitable board for this so hoping this is ok.

DP has terrible eczema and psoriasis. He itches all day and all night long severely! He's always been like this and only recently it's starting to get on my nerves. If he was doing everything he can to treat his skin I would have a different attitude. He never goes back to the doctor and never actually applies his prescribed creams as he should.

Anyway now we're expecting our 2nd I've been super tired and need my sleep more than ever. DD's sleep is unpredictable, so each night when she is asleep i would like to be too! But it's impossible as DP scratches himself so aggressively it shakes the whole bed and makes such a loud noise. He sticks his legs up in the air, sits, stands and he even does it in his sleep.

Thinking of ordering a cheap single bed for the spare room for now so I can at least get some peaceful sleep in there. Would this be a bad move? We're only 7 years into our relationship?! Also the bed will have to be sold on once baby arrives as that will be it's room.

Are there any ideas as to how I can drift off to sleep peacefully and not be woken up by him?

You could try talking to him and saying how selfish he is being by not following the prescribed treatment by the doctor. You could explain how he wakes you up in the night constantly, and whilst you would sympathise if he was treating his condition, he is doing fuck all.

My DH was a horrific snorer. I put up with it for years and was able to sleep through the worst of it before we had our first. My sleep was then so much lighter so his snoring disturbed me more. It eventually got to the stage where I moved into the spare room as I'd had enough, and this made him do something about it. A few months later his tonsils were out and problem solved. It only took him 20 years to sort!

I have tried this unfortunately, he just thinks I'm being selfish only caring about myself and I get "you don't know what it's like living with this"

I thought about ear plugs but I'll be worried I won't be able to hear DD if she needs me or smoke alarm etc.

His itching definitely gets worse if he's been out drinking with his friends so our rule is for him to sleep on the sofa otherwise my night is trying to avoid him thrashing about like an animal

Thanks soupmaker

Maybe that will give him the kick up the bum that he needs?!

Definitely get a single bed, it will save you a lot of stress and you keep your dignity intact with fresh sheets.

Does he go out drinking with friends a lot?

My OH is a dreadful snorer and constantly rolls around all night. I'm a very light sleeper (could hear a sparrow fart in the next village). Our son is only just sleeping through, but I have an airbed and often retire to that at night in another room so I can get some peace and quiet from the snoring and fidgeting.

My OH doesn't appreciate how debilitating it is having night after night of disturbed sleep, it's knackering. He moans he's lonely at night even though he's spread across a whole king sized bed. Cant be that lonely or he'd do something about the snoring.

lol, missed that.

Well if it was THAT awkward to live with, then he would use his fucking medication, wouldn't he?

It can't be that bad if he is able to completely disregard the treatment that a qualified professional has recommended.

Would 2 single beds instead of a double be an option?

This thread is pissing me off now. Why should we move out of our beds so our half wit snorers and drinkers can snore and scratch?

The worst is when they take it all personally and say they are all lonely. I think I might just push mine out of the bed tonight, or would that be assault?

Ha goats I hadn't noticed that!

Thanks for all comments ladies. I do actually have an air bed which I had forgotten about, maybe I could have that in the spare room from tonight to test it.

You're absolutely right unrealhousewife we really shouldn't have to leave our beds but I don't really have another option right now all I want is sleep. I too am such a light sleeper.

I don't think 2 single beds would be an option vajazzler as if still hear the awful scratching that's like someone pulling a wheelbarrow over stones.

DP doesn't go out drinking an awful lot as most of his friends aren't local anymore. DD actually lies down, puts her legs in the air and pretends to scratch them like Daddy...

Phew! Just moved around the spare room and made up a comfy looking air bed. Makes me feel like a teen again

I made DP go out and buy me one of these with the top notch memory foam mattress. Very comfy, if a little slimline. I would buy a proper single bed if we had space for it.

www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/S59839964/

People joke about snorers and other sleep issues , but actually it's incredibly selfish to deprive someone of sleep because you can't be arsed to sort out a medical issue. I would spell out to him clearly that if he makes no attempt to resolve his condition you will be sleeping in separate beds , meaning him in the spare room , not you.

Most of us put up with bad sleep for years, I did for decades. It's just not on really.

It's not a great feeling to be excluded from your own bedroom, but it's fantastic when you hit the pillow knowing you won't wake up until morning.

I love my airbed. No being woken up by snoring, fidgeting and bed breath (hate people breathing in my face). I get a good night sleep, as does he as I'm not constantly nudging him and waking him up.

I'm lonely he says, well do something about it then I say, and you're asleep, how can you be lonely, you're sleeping you big baby ;)

I think sharing a bed (or even bedroom) is seriously over rated - my DH and I have separate bedrooms - fortunately we are lucky enough to have the space except when guests stay and both beds are very comfortable - as unreal says, there is no better feeling than going to bed and knowing you are not going to be disturbed. We both sleep better and are much nicer to each other for it (& married over 25 years ).

In the nicest possible way, I'm glad I'm not alone in this issue

That looks super comfy unrealhousewife I must admit I don't think the air bed will be overly comfy but at least it will be undisturbed sleep. Getting up and down from it will be fun when I'm huge in a few months time! It's only temporary obviously as baby will need that room at some point but hopefully by then DP would have sorted himself out?!

Or we'll just have to move to a 4 bed house