Ladies - I do hope someone can help me.
I am in a relationship with a loving and caring man and we have just moved in together (no kids - as yet!). The problem is our sex life.
When we got together he was going through a lot of stress at work and had issues with impotence due to that. Happily that was resolved with love and patience and is now fine. At that point my libido was healthy (as was his) and we began a happy sexual relationship.
Since the several things have happened. I went through a stressful period at work that entailed spending weeks away from home overseas in Nigeria. I also started using the nueva ring (hormonal ring worn inside he body) as contraception at the same time.
Over a couple of weeks my libido went from normal to absolutely zero.
After 2.5 months on the ring and travelling constantly I came home and came off the ring, hoping libido issues would resolve themselves. They haven't. It is now 3 months after I finished on the ring and I still have zero libido.
To add context, I also experienced an incident of what I prefer to call non-consensual sex (I know it is rape, but I knew him and he wasn't violent so using the 'R' word feels difficult) 3 years ago that has left some bad memories and associations. I find it hard to be intimate at night and I think that relates to this experience.
So I now find myself in a situation here I have zero libido and that is threatening my relationship. My partner is very supportive and loving but feels rejected. I don't know the root cause of my problem but feel like the wiring that normally leads to arousal and then to sex is broken. I don't even indulge personally in any masterbation any more. The urge just isn't there.
How can I get it back?