Struggling...

[prawnsmummy]

I am a mother to two beautiful children. 5 week old DD and 3 year old DS. Lately I'm finding things really hard. When my DD was first born things felt great, like I was coping a bit too well considering her birth was a traumatic one and then all of a sudden juggling 2 children.

Things are different now. Me and my partner seem to be arguing constantly. He says I'm 'nagging him' because I'm asking him for help with baby. He seems to think because he works, his job is done. Last night he woke up DD after it took me ages to settle her (whilst he watched flipping Star Trek on TV - 3rd night in a row). He complains he never gets to do anything anymore, but he does. Everytime DD cries it's me who stops what I'm doing to see to her, partner just carries on about his life normally. I expected him to at least do one night feed, even if it's just one of the days at the weekend. I just don't know what to do anymore. It feels like there's nothing left of us due to the constant arguing. I feel really down, I've no other family I can really turn to for help. Just don't know what to do anymore.

This must be so hard for you.
Can you look into relate and get some couples counselling?
He doesn't understand what you have to do and what you are going through.
You are sleep deprived and exhausted.
Do you have any friends you can turn to?
It may be a slight relief for you if you can ask him to leave for a few days.
Just to see how much easier it is without having to pick up after him all the time on top of being a new mum.
If you are feeling low then do go to your GP and talk about what's happening.

Looking after a new baby single-handed is tiring. Looking after a new baby and a small child single-handed is more challenging but do-able. Looking after 2 DCs single-handed while some lazy man takes you for granted, puts his feet up and refuses to help adds an extra level of frustration and resentment which makes everything much worse.

I'd tell him to get lost quite honestly. You'd definitely be more relaxed and would probably cope better if he wasn't there. It's not the DCs causing the stress.

Dump him, he is of no use to you, in fact he is probably adding to your stress and causing you massive frustration, you really don't need that.

I am a firm believe in actions speak louder than words, look at his, do you really think he will change now, no chance, you have a baby but he still carries on like a 13 year old school boy. What would you miss.