Very long. Suspecting cheating but complicated

[Leadballoonlove]

Right where to start. Basically oh suffers from severe depression and a personality disorder (voices) he's getting help and is on medication (anti depressants 375mg per day and anti physchotics) it's very hard and I'm trying to help. He's working full time as a driver but is very withdrawn and distant (at the moment isn't always) anyway twice before I've caught him messaging other women on Facebook. Once about 4 months in and once more recently about 8 weeks ago. He said this time was just banter that went too far so he stopped it and deleted messages. I asked what was said and he can't remember nor can the woman involved as I questioned her too as she's meant to be happily married. Anyway now I'm suspicious again due to his Facebook activity (messenger saying he's online or was active x amount of minutes ago) during the day at work. He says he can't text me as he's working so obviously driving. Yet can check Facebook notifications and clear them
From the screen he says he opens the app clicks notification and then shuts it again. Now my problem is he never posts on there so can't have many he's part of animal for sale groups but there can't be many people posting in the day. It's been three times this morning I've noticed he was active x amount of minutes ago. He says maybe the app still says you're online when you're not or it takes a while to catch up.
Now I bet I sound like a massive stalker but I'm just so paranoid he blames his depression every time for his behaviour (there's been other things porn use etc when not interested in me) im currently 8+5 with our first baby (my 3rd) so hormoans aren't helping. What do I do? Wait it out? See if he carries on being online when apparently working? He doesn't use Facebook or his phone in the evenings his phone stays in his pocket until bed then it's next to him locked with a finger print scan to unlock it. If he's
Done it again weather it be banter or more I'm done. I can no longer live like this. I'm trying my best to help with his mental health I always have done but he says there things I can't know things he can't tell me so it's like he doesn't trust me enough. This is all a big mess and I'm really being dragged down. No good for my current DCs or tiny beany bump. What to do :(

You don't trust him. The rest is just noise.

I've been sat next to my bf and it says I was active few mins ago..... But my phone is on charge in another room!

I don't trust him you're right. How can I after what he's done twice? Yet he swears and swears it's me he wants to be with. I hoped it would go away that I'd forget and forgive but the way he's a acting makes me doubt it. No trust no relationship ey :(

"No trust, no relationship?"

I think you're right. One way or another you can't continue as things are. In your situation I'd have to give it one more try. I'd spell out exactly what was needed to save the relationship, e.g. No Facebook, a bog-standard phone etc.

He says no trust no relationship has before after the first time he went on as on about my trusting him and I did I changed I made myself trust and not be paranoid until he basically shot himself in the foot the second more recent time which made me question him
Where he admitted it. Fancy not being able to remember what was said

Nickname Change!!!

How are you meant to trust someone who is going behind your back trying to start sexual chats with other women, I mean, he's done it twice already that you know about (there will be lots of others) and both times you have let him away with it which really is basically telling him to carry on shitting all over you.

And yes, no trust, no real relationship.

I think you could be reading too much into the FB activity. I've often gone on FB to see that people have started chatting to me/sent messages as it's shown I've been online when in fact I've not been on FB all day. Additionally, I dont even use the messenger or chat function yet it shows I'm online. I think it does this simply if youre logged on and haven't changed your settings. That's by the by however, as you clearly don't trust him and no relationship can last if there is no trust.

He sounds like a catch.

He has already pissed all over the relationship, despite you helping him with his mental health problems.

Why would you want to stay with someone you can't trust?