Hi,
I split with my xh early in 2009 (well rather he left me for someone else). I met my DP later that year & we have been together for over 5 years now. We each have our own houses (about 15 mins apart) and see each other mostly at weekends, although speak or communicate daily most of the time. We both have stressful jobs and both enjoy our own space.
DP is about 5 years off retiring & we have talked about living together then - perhaps relocating etc but I rent my house out just in case! tbh, I am more than happy with keeping my house as going through a long painful divorce having lost almost everything is something I never want to repeat.
We have a nice, gentle, warm relationship - it feels like we are "courting" - an old fashioned term but it very much applies. DP has never married (although was with ex gf for about 20 years - lived together for some of those - before she went off with someone else.) We go on lovely trips together and he's better in the kitchen than me, he makes supreme efforts to do special things for me & I do the same for him. So, we're happy.
I do wonder though what the future will hold. I sort of feel that we're treading water a bit for the next 5 years (that will make him 60 & me early 50's). He is committed to me but not in the usual sense. He's not sure whether he ever wants to get married & we haven't discussed living together until he finishes work (this isn't 100% though)
He is high functioning aspergers and I wonder whether this might be a factor in his reluctance to change the status quo. I have adapted to this set up & it has become the norm but I do sometimes miss the intimacy of a more shared life together.
So, I would be interested to hear from others who have a similar set up - living apart together - and what pros & cons you've experienced. I can see the positives, especially in later life - but I also would like to think that we were moving in that direction of full time companionship into the next phase of our lives.
Apologies for the long post!