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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Don't know how to feel

11 replies

KeepAbreast · 12/08/2014 11:39

I am in a new-ish (6 month) relationship with a man who I really like and who I thought liked me. Things were great in the beginning but now I'm beginning to worry.

We used to have sex allll the time, which I suppose is normal in a new relationship. But now it's once a week if I'm lucky. And it's not just the sex, all the affection, touching, innuendo has disappeared. He'll kiss me goodbye when he leaves but that's all. When he gets in bed he complains if I touch him and wraps himself up in the duvet.

I used to try to initiate sex, but he would quite often start and then give up before either of us had finished. So now I dont bother, and he doesnt seem to have noticed.

He says he is too tired, but nothing has changed and it never used to stop him. And we are only talking six months here! He does work nights and complain of being tired a lot, he's been to the doctors about it but they found nothing physically wrong.

It just makes me feel so shit. I'm quite overweight and not much to look at it, and I just keep thinking how I wouldnt want to sleep with me either. But now I'm wondering what the point is. He works three nights a week and spends three nights with his friends, so we only have one night together. He sleeps in late, understandably, but if he's at my house he either gets up and goes straight out somewhere or stays in bed until i've gone to work in the afternoon. But I feel like I cant say anything about this because I have a young DD, so the alternative would be being stuck in the house with me.

Does anyone have any advice? Am I wasting my time? I really dont want to end it while I still really like and fancy him but obviously he doesnt feel the same, and its not something that's likely to improve is it :(

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 12/08/2014 11:44

I would say what you had has run it's course. Cut your losses and move on. You don't sound like much of a priority to him.

AnyFucker · 12/08/2014 11:45

Oh, and it's highly doubtful this has anything to do with your appearance or is remotely your fault. He sounds like someone who very quickly gets complacent. You can do better than this.

Phalenopsis · 12/08/2014 11:46

After 6 months? I'd give up. It makes you feel shit. End of.

BunnyPotter · 12/08/2014 11:59

Nobody is worth making you feel this way, especially after such a short time.

You're beautiful and interesting. Free yourself of this person who doesn't appreciate you.

Jan45 · 12/08/2014 17:04

6 months!!!!!

It's nothing to do with your looks, you either love a person or you don't, get rid and look again otherwise you will have self esteem left.

From what you have written he's throwing you scraps, you're worth more than that OP!

4boysxhappy · 12/08/2014 17:12

Not you at all.

Something is going on with him. Not just tiredness.

Don't put up with it. Speak to him and find out what or end it.

BolshierAyraStark · 12/08/2014 17:24

All his problem & non of yours.

Move on, he's really not worth feeling shit over.

WildBillfemale · 12/08/2014 18:21

Dump him - 6 months you've test drived him and he's not for you

chaseface · 12/08/2014 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 12/08/2014 22:39

Whenever the question "Am I wasting my time?" comes up, it is usually a gut feeling trying to communicate...yes, you are.

Nothing to do with your weight; it is him, not you. The him that you want to fancy and love etc is not really matching the reality of the him that is avoiding you when he is with you, is it? Your heart may be sad for ten minutes a bit, but your brain has worked this one out 100%.

Sorry you got a dud. Don't give up.

Scarletohello · 12/08/2014 22:47

Yes it's definitely him. He only sees you once a week and doesn't want to have sex with you? What's wrong with him. Please dump his sorry ass, you are worth way more than this!

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