BF and his drinking

[Bigbanger]

Just want to moan really, but am I right to be cross?

BF drinking has been a issue for a while, he was like a one man party, always going out for quick pint after work which ended in getting pissed, being at home drinking stupid amounts of beer followed by bottles of wine, shots etc this impacted on his life as he didn't then put in a full days work and couldn't go to gym etc because he was hanging, and it has really effected our sex life!

Earlier this year it came to a head when I got pregnant by accident and I had enough and ended it, he then sorted it out and we got back together!

Last week he went out on Tuesday and got drunk, wends and thurs he was away on a msn and boys camping trip which resulted in lots of drinking. He then got home Friday and preceded to get hammered knowing we had a busy day sorting things at home on the Saturday, he drank beer, went back to shop for more beer and then drank a bottle of wine to himself and was frankly bloody annoying nothing fun about a drunk hounding you constantly and coming upstairs to wake you when 35 weeks pregnant!

Today he gets to work and the bloke who works for him doesn't show! He makes Connatct at 3pm and basically he went out drinking last night and got hammered, bf is fuming and is considering sacking him for not turning up etc

Bf phoned me when he left work today to say he is popping for 1 pint and will see me in a hour..... 4 hours later he is still out and I know this means he is drunk which will then impact tomorrow and the next few days as he will be hanging, then tired and won't go to gym and will leave work early to spend afternoon on sofa!

Thinking back I can't actually remember one holiday, night away in a hotel for special occasions (I.e my birthday, valentine etc) where it hasn't been about him getting hammered everyday, and having to sleep for few hours everyday leaning me sunbathing alone! even the two times we took the kids away he drank everyday from around 11am into the night meaning I was the one how had to entertain the kids alone!

The drinking is out of control really and only going to get worst!

Why exactly are you with him? You ended it before because his drinking was out of control as it is now so.... Ltb? He doesn't sound ready or willing to change so you need to change your own life for the sake of your children.

Sorry, I didn't mean that to sound as if I think it would be easy, but ultimately that's what if comes down to. I really wouldn't waste your time, esp if you have children.

I had a relationship like this, it was horrible. Drinking as soon as he got up on holiday and telling me it was normal. Your bf has a problem with alcohol. I don't think this is going to magically get better when you have the baby. What's your plan B?

What do you get out of this relationship, what needs of yours are being met here?. How long have you been together?.

And you are with this person at all because.....

If you think that you can rescue and or save this man from his alcoholism you are sadly mistaken.

This should have stayed ended when you decided that you'd had enough, this is really going nowhere. Life with an alcoholic is never anything other than chaotic and lurching from one crisis to the next. Is this really what you want for your own self, not least of all your children?. You and they deserve far better, this drunk needs to be gone completely from your day to day lives.

Not got long, just to say, he won't change. My ex wad exactly like this. Thankfully we didn't have a child, but I had children he behaved like this in front of. Breaking up got him to stop for a few months but he's back on it now.
We're not together anymore, he's a really sad character, only friends are pub friends etc.
Sorry I think you'll be much happier on your own with the baby, don't kid yourself the good times make it worth it, they really don't.

Are you right to be cross? What an odd question.

You live with an alcoholic at worst, an alcohol abuser at best. This is how they behave. Everything revolves around alcohol and nothing (including friends, family, work, themselves) is more important than alcohol. You can waste a huge amount of time on people like this, hoping they'll voluntarily 'see the light' and change for the better. Sometimes they will make a big show of giving up and allow you to hope, only to go right back to normal sooner or later. Sometimes, given the right incentive, they actually will give up.... but it's so rare that it's better not to plan for it.

Of course you're right to be cross. You'd even be right to call time and save yourself a lot of heartbreak.

He is an alcoholic and unless you can't see it he is affecting everyone's life around him. It's also a problem only which he can solve. Does he acknowledge he has a problem op?
If he doesn't then at least try to save yourself from a life of misery.

Sounds like a horrible life alcohol seems more important to him than you and your dc. Why are you still with him?

He's not going to chane and this will get 100x worse when the baby is born. Bite the bullet and dump the loser.

I had enough and ended it, he then sorted it out and we got back together!

What exactly did 'sorting it' look like? By the sounds of it, just enough to lure you back into the relationship so that he could start pissing it up the wall again at the point where you are most vulnerable.

This is nothing you want your kids to see. And it will only get worse. Let it get worse elsewhere.

Drink will always come before you, he won't change, you will end up giving him ultimatum after ultimatum with no real result.

You can't actually have a real relationship with someone who is constantly drunk or hungover, what a shit life.