Title pretty much says it all. OH and I have been together almost 3 years, lived together 2 and a half years, and have an 18mo DS and a 9wo DD.
Ever since DD was born we have been arguing constantly. In fact we were beforehand, but it's getting worse. We argue over the house.
I am the first to admit that I am struggling. OH expects me to keep the house, but he refuses to help. He is constantly telling me to 'tidy as I go' as that will be easier, and he tells me how frustrating it is watching the way I go about tidying things. Yet he refuses to pick things up after himself. He complains if I leave a plate out, yet never puts his own in the dishwasher, ditto dirty clothes etc. I can't take any more of it. I am exhausted trying to provide constant entertainment for DS and to feed, change, settle baby DD. If DS isn't occupied then he throws things around and generally turns things into a state. Anyway I'm not blaming DS as that's to be expected.
I'm trying my hardest to keep on top of everything, yet OH doesn't appreciate what I has to do and spends a lot of time calling me lazy.
Almost every time he comes home he gets half a foot in the door and goes 'oh the house is a state isn't it?' No hello anymore, and then goes on to ask me what the hell I've been doing all day. And the bickering continues.
He calls me 'thick' a lot because I don't always understand what he says. I'm in the process of getting an adult aspergers diagnosis. I struggle a lot more when I'm tired, particularly with sayings I'm not familiar with ('it's just a bed' is a recent example - I took it literally, asked him to explain and he shouted)
Last night in the car I was driving and tired and asked him to turn the sound off on the video clip he was watching on his phone to help me concentrate. He did, but made a massive deal of it, telling me I was mean and cold and generally being a bitch over the last few weeks. I repeatedly asked him to stop talking so loudly at me but he wouldn't. I pulled over and asked him to drive. Which he agreed to but said 'I would t like it'. Then he drove like a boy racer with the radio on full blast (I am noise-sensitive and he did that deliberately to upset me) and our children were in the car.
I know that I haven't been the perfect fiancé recently. And I know that the house hasn't been perfect. But am I being unreasonable to ask for a little bit of help? He only works 4 days a week for a max of 5hrs a day. It's not that he doesn't have the time to help me, he just chooses to do other things. He rarely helps out at bedtime anymore, and only does so begrudgingly.
But I do love him. And when we're not arguing we have so much fun together. But I can't take much more of the continual put-downs. And I'm not really sure how we move on from this