Nightmare on a Saturday, feel desperate...

[jemimarose]

Went to DH friends party with DH. Mild crush on his friend. Just learnt via the friend that I said awful things to him and then followed him into his bedroom. My DH said on Sunday that I was v drunk but didn't tell me all the awful things I said. DH friend said I was like a stalker! My face us burning, I feel so stupid, in tears, wishing I could travel back in time. I'm on a diet, as always, so hadn't eaten and everyone was going shots. Can never see DH friend again and also why didn't DH tell me what an absolute horror I am. Not sure what to do, seems even worse writing it down if that's possible. Bloody hate me.

If I were you OP I'd stop doing shots at parties and maybe watch my alcohol intake.

Do you have a problem with low self esteem? You mention being on a diet "as always" and clearly you're very upset understandably about your husbands fling from a few years ago. I would suggest stopping drinking for the time being and examining yourself and your relationship. Have you tried counselling.

(*disclaimer: I'm not suggesting that every woman who drinks heavily or enjoys sex needs counselling for self esteem issues)

Why on earth is Nick a twat?

You've got to stop beating yourself about this. I'd focus less on Nick (draw a line under that as you've apologised) and focus more on your husband and your relationship.

What on earth has Nick done Geraldine??

I'd be behaving the same if a friend's partner did this to me.

Oh, you poor darling - don't beat yourself up any more. We've ALL been there, me more than once! Will PM you with one of my very worst (can't post it here as it'd Out me). What you did wasn't so bad and tomorrow you'll begin to feel better, I promise.

WTF the other party goers thought? No idea how I will face them. Shit, fuck, wank not gonna be able to stop thinking/stressing about this
Very little I suspect if you were all doing shots?
I imagine that Nick is upset as you made a move on him/were overly flirtatious in front of your boyfriend, who is his friend. It doesn't really say that you are treating his friend very well.

Apologise, say that you were unbelievably drunk. draw a line under it and move on.
DON'T let it happen again and avoid shots like the plague

vivacia nick should be gallant and laugh it off for the sake of OP husband , not play it up
OP don't beat yourself up , concentrate on now

I can see that he could be more gracious Phoenix but I don't think the onus is on him really.

Phoenix - a person who is subject to unwanted sexual advances, followed into bedrooms and whatever else is entitled to respond to this in whichever way they feel will put a stop to it.

Gallant? Rubbish.

AWDaughter, same as what I thought but didn't want to upset the OP.

vivaciaabsolutely agree , I realise he didn't create the situation
Ladylemon oh course he is , however some things are better off played down , her husband was there , she has apologised a zillion times

Ok. Thank you for replies. Need a plan. Have apologised to DH, yes self esteem did take a bash when he had his fling with my friend, yes our relationship has never really been the same since, but we are both trying to be happy. I shall stop worrying about Nick, I cannot possibly apologise for a third time or I really will come across as a stalker.

TBH this has made me reflect on my marriage and realise that it is in a definite rut. Rarely talk to one another about anything but the children, maybe the crush on Nick is a symptom of this? As said I have really apologised to nick in person and via text. No response from text.

I'm the arse not Nick. Thank you again for replies, think I may be on here for a while yet !

You'll be fine, op.
As others have said the horror of recalling it all will fade and it will quickly be something of no significance any more.

The fact you are taking responsibility for your own actions shows you've got integrity and this will help.

And yes, don't apologise again.

He's received your apology, anything else is less about being genuinely sorry and more about pushing for a satisfactory response from him. He's perfectly entitled to ignore.

Yes everyone was doing shots apart from Nick..... I think. Anyhow hopefully no one else remembers, nick has been really poorly, in and out of hospital, hence he stuck to a couple of beers, remember asking him about the shots....that's when he told me he wasn't drinking any. So maybe I don't need to send a group email saying sorry to everyone else!!!! Maybe everyone else was drunk and Nick is telling them off too! I live in hope.

Thank you again everyone! Still no word from Nick, I agree he has every right to ignore me. No shots for me ever again and only the odd glass of wine. Nick has never ever seen me tipsy let alone drunk and I think up until Saturday night we actually held each other on quite high esteem. Think he is also quite disappointed/cross about my poor behaviour. Feel really judged by him, feel like a v v bad person. Thankfully DH genuinely is ok with my public drunk behaviour that night but I am dreading telling him about my crush on Nick. Not sure if I should, should I? I know for a fact it is not reciprocated and that sober or even tipsy I will never ever behave that way again.

Its highly likely that nobody other than Nick and your dh noticed your behaviour at all.

Don't mention it to anybody now. You've apologised to the key players, now least said soonest mended.

Seriously, in a week this will be small fry.

And never do shots again, obviously.

Christ on a stick woman why would you tell your husband you fancy his mate?

Are you quite mad?

You're still going on about Nick. I'm wondering if this is less to do with you being embarrassed and more angry with him rejecting your advances.

Please stop fixating on Nick. It's weird.

And why would you tell your husband about you 'crush'? I think he probably knows now, don't you?

Ok, maybe I shouldn't tell DH about crush.

Yes of course I feel rejected, but I was rejected and I am relieved as if I wasn't my marriage would now be over! But never nice to have the object of your slight affection be so cutting and obviously so horrified by the knowledge of that affection.

I agree I am making a huge deal out of this and probably no one gives a damn who was at the party apart from Nick which is why I keep talking about him. Still no response to my brief but v sincere apology.

I feel as though you're using posters' concern and support as a means to continue your (non-existent) drama with Nick.