Hello
I use mumsnet on and off and could really do with some advice on a situation I'm in currently.
I was due to get married in 4 weeks, partner of 10 years. Have felt he was totally uninterested in marriage and me so a week ago I called the wedding off after a long chat. He was ok with this but I felt it spoke volumes about our relationship. I told him I needed space so we agreed a few days a week I'd go to my mums and spend time there so we both got some head space.
In the midst of all this I have been really homesick since my dad died a year ago, and have been looking at employment there on and off. The only thing that I felt kept us here was his job as he was a share holder in the company he worked for. However two weeks ago things came to a head there and he agreed to move on with a settlement pay. He came to me and said he was sorry about everything felt the job took so much etc and wanted to make things right. I felt the job did take a lot from us as I work shifts and he was there 60hrs some weeks, which has been hard with three children. I told him I still needed space and to think long term what I wanted but indicated that now he doesn't have a job I want to relocate back with my family. I found out jobs were going at the local hospital so applied there.
I went away to my mum this weekend, left children in tow. He'd been snooping and found a email on my iPad that had been sent that day offering me a job interview. I had every intention of telling him my news when I got back but sensed he'd been looking as his tone turned into hostile over the course of a few days.
I came home yesterday to him accusing me of having an affair as I had kept the pregnancy test from when I miscarried twins 6 months ago and kept it because it was the only thing I had left of them. I had some leftover tests in the bathroom cabinet. He then found some cerazeete (pill) in the car as I went to the doctor last week to talk about painful periods so I was put on that whilst I await a coil. Because of these things which admittedly look bad, and the job thing he's gone nuts. Kicked off at me in front of our children and has left to go back to his parents.
I'm not sure where to go from here right now as his actions have made me quite angry. I thought maybe a fresh start would help us. He's adamant though he won't move despite having nothing here bar his parents who he sees maybe 4 times a year (they never see our children despite 5 miles away).
My biggest fear is money, I feel really vulnerable. I have nothing. I live month to month. Three months ago a very good friend lent us £8000 to cover a debt and get a car, laid back by him at £400 a month. He's now said it's up to me to pay it back, and is no issue to him. I'm livid, it was inheritance from her dead mum, and lent in good faith. I've also lost a great deal of money from the wedding.
Does anyone know where I stand in relation to the money he is due from his business? I wouldn't even think about touching it if we didn't owe my friend this money. I want nothing to do I with it as that place he worked for has broken us bit by bit and I've sacrificed being in labour alone, having 3 children on my lap when my dad was dying because he couldn't leave. I just want to protect my children and if I pay £400 a month I won't be able to live.
Many thanks, and of anyone can recognise me from these details please don't out me or share it outside of mumsnet.