Did I do the right thing staying here after my marriage ended?!

[Thatslife72]

I met my now ex husband on holiday so I moved 200 miles away from family and friends to be with him, had children got married etc. it was never really the same I missed my friends and family and it took a while before I made new friends and still now 14 years on I haven't really got the same connection with friends as I had, infact I still stay in touch with the old ones from school etc and meet up fairly regularly. My mum also died of cancer which didn't help. I have my sister and dad still 200 miles away but they don't make a great effort to see me it's all one way.

I split up with my ex 5 years ago now, I decided to stay here as the children were settled in the school had their friends and also I wanted them to see their dad and I just thought the travelling to get them to him would be too much.

I did make a life for myself I have a small amount of friends, my own house my own business which is going well. I had a few disaster relationships which made me feel unsettled but I have met someone nice now, though he lives half an hour away so even that short distance makes it difficult for us to see each other sometimes so I still feel unsettled. I sometimes just feel like packing my bags and leaving go back up were I'm from, sometimes I feel if something happened to me no one would really know. If I fill in a form at the dentist or something they ask for an emergency contact number , there isn't one! If I'm stuck somewhere and can't pick children up or I'm ill or the car breaks down there is no one to help. I did move the children 3 years ago to a different school as I moved to a new town not far down the road so I could afford to buy a house and also the children weren't doing well at the school. They are doing much better now exceeding even, they have friends etc but I haven't really made friends with the mums they don't really speak most of them a few do. It's hard and I sometimes wonder if I should of moved back 'home' with them or whether I did the right thing staying. I just can't get settled? Anyone else done anything simular for their kids?

Hi that'sife, do you have set days times etc when the kids see their dad or any contact order that would inhibit a move 200miles away?

Sorry, messed your name up!

Well the children see their dad every other weekend and a few hours on a Wednesday as long as he's not doing anything! My daughter is about to start secondary school in September too another reason to stick at it I suppose !!!

I left my home country 14 years ago, and have left many good friends there (and in other places I have lived since then) who are still good friends. The things is that even if you are good friends on a distance, their lives has moved on as much as yours have, nothing is ever standing still. If you moved back, would you then just slot into the life they live now, because the life you left doesn't exist anymore. If your dad and sister doesn't make an effort now, would that change if you moved back - probably not. I have friends from the past where I think maybe we would not still be friends if I haven't moved because we live very different lives now, but are connected by my occasional visits, I have other friends were I think we still have a great connection, but what do I know?

Would the move include moving with your children?

Well if I moved back up there I would see more of my family as down here I don't really get invited to events or meet ups because as they see it I'm too far away. I have been left on my own completely on Xmas day that was not nice! I do feel jealous sometimes when they meet up and my children would see more of their cousins etc. but yes a lot of my friends have moved on have their own lives etc and I would have to start my business again, the children would hate me for taking them away from their dad and school, so it's for them I staying . Plus I do have a lovely boyfriend and a good social life with him and about a handful of friends I suppose it's not that bad I just wonder if I'll ever feel settled !