Do I socialise enough, or should I make more effort?

[MeetMyCat]

How often do people see friends/socialise etc? Maybe I shouldn’t look at Facebook so often, but everyone seems to be busier than me, and it’s making me feel unsettled.

DH and I had a lovely weekend; we went out together on Friday night, he worked on Saturday and I was quite happy pottering at home. We went out with another couple on Saturday night (and have subsequently arranged to go away for the weekend with them in the spring). I’m just about to head off and meet a friend for lunch, and then I’ve got another lunch meeting planned for Thursday (with a different friend). I make an effort to do at least one social thing each week.

I don’t have children, but I do work full time, and whilst I don’t have time for much more socialising, I’d like to feel more “in demand”.

Do I sound even vaguely normal? I do enjoy my own company and get a bit overwhelmed if I’ve got no time to breathe, but still suspect I may be lagging behind slightly? I know there have been a few threads about this sort of thing just lately.

Not sure that socialising is a competitive sport. You have a healthy and happy social life so why start judging your life by the way others live their life? Yes, no doubt you could go out every night of the week but that would probably be draining especially as you work full time. Some of us are total socialites, need to be constantly socialising and some of us are probably quite reclusive. There is no right or wrong way to socialise. Just enjoy what you are doing; its sounds as if you are pretty happy so ignore what others may be doing and get on with your own life.

"Lagging behind?" Lagging behind what? or who? As heyday said, socialising isn't a competitive sport. The idea is that you enjoy it, so you do as much or as little as you enjoy.

Don't look at what others are doing and think they are doing it right and you are doing it wrong. If you are happy, then you are doing it right for you. Do you want to be more 'in demand' just for the sake of it? Because that sounds like general insecurity rather than a desire for a busier life.

Stop using what people post on fb as a benchmark for how you should live your life.

You'll be much happier.

Don't see socialising as competitive, just do what makes you happy.

I have friends who seem to be busy all the time and then others who would quite happily admit they are more introvert, prefer their own company, are home birds etc. It doesn't make either of them better / worse than the other, just different.

Facebook is not always representative of real life - people are bound to put on status' / photos of stuff they have been doing and all the 'fun' they have been having. Doesn't mean to say they are necessarily happy / busy all the time though. Some people just like to put on that sort of front.

I have one DC so don't go out as often as I used to but I don't really miss it. I would say in a typical week I meet up with friends (with DC) twice a week then other friends (no DC) once a week usually for a meal or a drink or something. We often have things booked in for the weekends - either going to visit friends / family or having people to stay with us etc., but there are also weekends were we don't do anything specific and enjoy that 'free' time around the house and garden.

Just do what makes you happy, there are no rules.

Thanks so much for the replies. So many good points have been raised, particularly ‘comparison is the thief of joy’; you’re so right, I spend so much time worrying that I might be socialising less average (whatever average may look like) that I probably spoil things for myself. The other point that hit a nerve is that this may be a sign of general insecurity. This is probably right too, although I can’t explain how I came to feel like this.

I should mention that there are times when I don’t feel like socialising, but end up making arrangements just because I feel I should. Again, I don’t know where this stems from. For example if DH is working all day on a Saturday, I’m usually quite happy to potter at home or amuse myself, but then I suddenly have a panic and think that the ‘correct’ way to behave would be to make arrangements to do lunch/shopping with a girlfriend. Almost like I may be perceived as a weirdo/freak/loner if I’m found to be happy being home alone all day.

There are plenty of us who are happy to be home all day, we just don't tend to post on facebook about it.

If you want to see a friend, arrange something with them. If you want to do a particular activity, do it alone or invite someone you think would enjoy it. Otherwise, potter to your heart's content :)

Your life sounds fine - you go out with H, you socialise with couples, you socialise with friends alone - you have nothing to worry about!

good grief, I see my friend (singular) about once a year - you're fine!