Stuck in a rut with partner

[Gavlar1873]

I have been with my fiancé for 8 years and have 2 kids aged 6 and 5, she is 37 and I am 30, the past 2 or 3 years I feel we have drifted away from each other intimately. Our sex life has gone from good then to occasionally to now non existent, it's been 7 months since we had sex and around 3 years since we had sex when alcohol wasn't involved. I don't even sleep in the same bed as her now as she blames me snoring for her not getting a good sleep which I can understand.

I work full time and she has 2 part time jobs and we are together most nights. We don't argue a lot but I just don't feel we are close anymore, I struggle to talk to her and I find it hard to open up to her with regards to our sex life and my feelings. I like to think I am quite romantic as I used to enjoy taking her out to concerts and going weekends away together etc but now when I suggest any of these things the usual reply is "nah we can't afford to" or she "isn't in to concerts anymore".

I really miss the closeness of being with someone and being intimate, the closest we get to each other now is a goodnight kiss and that's it.

Am I doing something wrong? I still love her but just can't take feeling unloved or not being intimate anymore. Have we ran our course together and now is the time to move on? I just don't want to be alone and maybe that is the reason I am still with her.

You need to tell her how you feel. There is certainly more to life than this but relationships take work and effort, especially once the children come along.

You need to see if she feels the same way. I suppose she isn't too happy with how things are either.

Personally I think you need to talk and both of you need to take in board what the other wants then give it a shot. There are kids here so one final go is always a worthwhile investment IMO.

Good luck

Hello

Looking from the outside things need to change !
I see little communication
I see little affection
I see the day to day routine of family life, with not much to look forward to ?

Only you & your partner can make things better

I would suggest making a list of what you want to change, some little things and some big things. Prioritise. Make it clear what you want.

Make some quiet time alone to talk calmly, can you get a baby sitter ?

Lots of things dont cost alot of money that you can do as a family together, feeding ducks in park, picnic, nature spotting, kite flying, make & do crafts, baking, car boot sale, growing flowers or plants, football, scrapbook, make a mask or crown, tent, visit museum, swimming, fetes etc

What can YOU DO TO MAKE THINGS BETTER for your family ?

I expect that there are some people who would be only too pleased to have a partner and children.

Sometimes you have to look at things from a different perspective and see how lucky you are !

Good luck HTH