Viagra

[Wombatsketchup]

I've just found out (it came up in conversation) that my partner of two years uses Viagra and had never mentioned it before. I've spent the day really upset because he'd never told me. Apart from this the last two years have been great; sex is fantastic, he has no ED issues but says he uses it to enhance his (and therefore my!)experience. I think I'm upset because it makes me feel less attractive etc. and also I'm worried if he hasn't told me this, what else might he be keeping from me. Apart from this one thing communication is good; I've always felt him to be open an honest and I trust him. Perspective on this anyone?

With respect Argy it was "If its off the internet it's 90% likely to be fake and potentially dangerous." that was the issue. This was true about 5 years ago but today it isn't.

We have had a very open, long and kind talk about everything. I am reassured that he didn't keep it from me for any other reason than he didn't know how to tell me and the longer time went on the more difficult it became. He is sorry for not saying before and can't apologise enough. He understands my need for openness in our relationship. We have discussed everything in such a calm and rational way I reassured by that too. He is such a lovely man I accept what he says and we'll move forward from this.

Point taken, AICM. I should have been more specific - 90% of Viagra purchased online without a proper prescription via an approved internet pharmacy is fake and potentially dangerous. And lying to get a prescription leaves you open to risks in relation to contraindications, side effects and interactions.

Great to see OP has listened to and understood her partner.

I've never taken it, but I do know guys who do, they are mostly single men on the dating scene and are feeling the need to make a particularly good impression, so to speak. The problem then comes if a fling turns into something more regular, more committed and then the guy has to face the decision of admitting he might have had some chemical assistance initially or to keep quiet, so one can see how this problem of discussion might occur, as in this case.

Hey OP, some women take it too, why not give it a whirl one special night, see if it floats your boat too? It could be fun. Good luck. :)

Hmm. How often do you have sex? I work for one of the pharmacies listed as providing Viagra privately. It's pretty shitting expensive. It came off patent recently(ish) so generic sildenafil (the drug) is now available and quite affordable but you're still looking at 5 for 4 tablets. Quite an expensive way to spice up a sex life. Also an unnecessary risk given he claims there is no medical need (I assume he lied about this to obtain it, if he did obtain it via one of these sites).

To be honest I would be a little annoyed. Not raging but it seems like such a waste of money and unnecessary risk. It does feel a little dishonest to keep that from you for so long.
I generally don't like (ironically) the culture we live in where all our problems are medicated for and this applies.

I'm assuming as you've said you're uncomfortable with this, that he is going to stop using them at least some of the time?

We don't live together and due to the other demands of life and both our children we probably only get to spend one night a week together (although see each other on and off all through the week but not always the time or opportunity to be intimate). Because of that he feels that he wants the sex we have when we do see each other to be fantastic and long lasting (and it is) and so it is his preference to use the medication in preparation for our time together. He explained that it turns him on to be able to turn me on (although I have have told him he does this anyway and he's more important to me than just long lasting sex!) and he says that if we lived together etc. he wouldn't use it because we'd have the opportunity for sex all the time and not feel that we have to 'maximise' the time we have together. I'm not sure if I've explained that in the best way but I hope you understand what I mean. He has used it in previous relationships too in a similar way. With regard to the drug itself, because of his profession he is able to assess the risks of using it and understand the pharmacology etc. and yes I know it's expensive.