Anti-depressants and emotions

[ComeInOrson]

I posted on the health board but was advised it is busier here.

DH got quite severe depression and changed over a few weeks and became quite angry / difficult / illogical / mean / uncommunicative / snappy / always crying and quite blaming towards me. Everything was my fault. I could do no right. Bringing up everything I had ever done in the past to annoy him (some stuff so petty like forgetting to fill the car with petrol) and all of it was things he'd never mentioned before.

This went on for two months, then I managed to get him to go to the doctors and he got straight onto Citalopram and about 10 days after taking them he told me he didn't love me anymore and felt nothing towards me and is completely numb and just wants to be alone.

I read online that citalopram can cause temporary side effects but it has been six months now and DH is still telling me he doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't want sex and is so distant. His personality is very diferrent to before, I don't recognise him.

I am really confused. We were still in the honeymoon period. Married only a year. We were really happily married and before he was depressed or started these pills he told me he loved me every day numerous times, he was calling or texting constantly from work to say he loved me, he could not keep his hands off me and we had sex every day.

I am really feeling confused. It was like he switched off all his emotions and turned into a diferrent person. Could this be the medication / depression ?

He won't talk to me about it, he won't go to counselling, he won't do anything at all and his answer to everything is "no point".

I have been taking care of him, and he's not nasty all the time, he sometimes says how lucky he is to have me looking after him but he also doesn't feel the same about me and it's really breaking my heart.

Yes it could be the medication. I came off Citalopram for this exact reason. It worked for a while, but then i started feeling like a zombie, flat and emotionless.

Hi my dh did the same to me, saying it was over and he would move out. He was so cold and emotionless. This was what flagged up his depression in the first place, after talking it over he was able to see he was depressed. 10 days on the ad is not long enough to have an effect so I would say it's the depression talking. If you can just stay calm and try to suggest to him he might feel differently in a few weeks. It's so hard though and you must be under enormous strain. It's so hard to understand how emotionally numb it makes them.

sorry super, he started saying he didn't love me 10 days into the ADs but it has been six months on them now.

He has said he thought he might love me a few times in that period but he just doesn't feel the same like he used to before this.

I have been waiting patiently in the hope it was temporary.

To be fair it's not just me he is emotionally numb with.

Have you suggested he changes his medication? It does kill your sex drive and depression can rob you of your ability to feel love but six months is a long time to be saying he doesn't love you.

Have you thought about asking him to leave if that's how he feels?

Citalopram made me numb emotionally (which was what I needed at the time tbh) but as I recovered I felt like a zombie so halved the dose. My emotions were all over the place for a couple of months but am much more stable now. Your DH might need a lower dose?

Quite likely yes I suggested it he says he's fine. I know, six months is a really long time. It's strange he looks baffled himself.

He says the numb is what he needs at the moment too Pricilla. He won't lower the dose. If anything he still seems depressed. Still struggles to get out of bed, still doesn't want to do anything etc.

No, I don't want him to leave. I feel like he'd not come back :/