past or present?

[cfsd88]

So 11 years, on and off relationship. Mixture of happy and extremely unhappy dating back years. We even have tried to get along again being together, though as much as it could be me holding back on feelings and showing affection, i cant trust we will stay happy. Is it time to leave the past behind, even though it would extremely hurt me as i do really feel love for this person.

If it's a 50% chance that you will have a happy or unhappy future with this person I'd suggest you call time and leave them behind. You say you 'can't trust we will stay happy'.... and, whilst no relationship is ever 100% happy, there must be a basis for such a pessimistic statement. A relationship without trust or optimism is dead before it starts. If you hold back because you've been let down by this person before - that's quite normal.

Worse than all this... you are probably passing up a lot of better chances at a happy future but unaware of it because this person is keeping you stuck in the past.

If you leave them behind, make a big effort to go NC and an even bigger effort to plough all your energies into something new.