Why oh why are teen girl friendships so hard? And how do you guide your dd through with minimal fallout?

[Earlybird]

My heart is breaking for dd. She is such a kind, sweet, sensitive girl but sadly those qualities do not seem to be in high demand with her classmates.

In the past, dd has remained shielded from a lot of the 'mean/popular girl' drama because she was part of another group who supported/enjoyed each other. But that seems to be changing.

Her longterm closest friend seems to be drifting away. She is more than happy to accept dc's invitations, but does not seem to reciprocate.

Another good friend has been away for a month, and says she wants to meet up with dd, but hasn't committed to a date in spite of several attempts by dd to make a plan.

This morning, there is a photo on Instagram of most of dd's friendship group - all smiling for the camera. Obviously they have gotten together in the last day or so, and dd was not invited. She is going to be crushed when she sees the photo.

How can I help her? This is so hard.

Your poor DD. I find these kinds of things hard now the age I am! Feeling left out is awful. Does she have friends from different groups? The more diverse the better especially outside of school where the in crowd stuff may be less of an issue.

It's not always intentional, but I know it sometimes feels that way. Just because she wasn't invited doesn't necessarily mean she was specifically NOT invited. It's careless but not necessarily spiteful I hope anyway.

I really feel for young people having things like this rubbed in their face via social media. Everything is so quantifiable and recorded.

I really thought this was going to be a lot, lot worse. I take it she's about year 6/7?

What Pivot says: making other friends outside school is always a good move.
Very sad, I hope things pick up for her over the holidays.