depressed, or abusive?

[bubblygum]

This is about myself.
I have been in abusive relationships in the past, brought up in an abusive household also.
I have just completed the freedom programme because of this.

I have been under an enormous amount of stress lately, and i have changed.
I know i have, others know i have.
My boyfriend is on the receving end of my moods, and im starting to question everything.

Is the stress an excuse?
He doesnt even need to do anything really.
My mind is in constant overdrive and i seem to pick at things i usually wouldnt.
It is not strictly just him, my patience has gone and i really believe im hittingdepression.

After the FP though, i definately do not want to be giving out abuse. I would rather end it.
Only i dont know if it is depression, or if depression is an excuse.
I should not be taking anything out on him.

How do i fix this? I just want to be the happy me that i was a couple month back.
I am tempted to go to docs, but would prefer it if i didnt have to

Just to add: i do not hit him

It's time to have a chat with your doctor. Let them assess you, you can discuss the possibility of depression and medication/counselling. Try to look after yourself, eat well, get as much rest as possible and spend some time doing things you enjoy. Try to take up yoga to help you to relax and unwind a bit. I hope things pick up soon for you.

What behaviours do you do that you think might be abusive?

No it isn't an excuse, but it could be part of the reason.

As hey has said. Please go and see your docs and see what they can do to help you.

Thank you. I will go to the doctors.

Morris - i just find myself snapping over things with him that usually wouldnt bother me. Only when he isnt with me though. Its like i read him wrong when im not with him in person. Its not all of the time, mostly when im stressed and anxious.