Sleep or rather lack of it! Help

[goldsilver]

I’d really appreciate anyone’s thoughts on this.
I live with my boyfriend but there is a big issue involving sleep!
He snores, which has meant many sleepless nights for me because I am a light sleeper...I think as a result of having a child. Often I have ended up on the sofa (which is a very small one).
I work from home, though I am hoping that this will change as I am pretty isolated.
He gets up at half past five every morning and it takes him an hour to get ready to go to work and then an hour to get to work.
I have been getting up with him for a long time but as a result, feel exhausted. He is used to it, he has been doing it with over ten years. He can go to bed at eleven o’clock, even midnight and I have been doing the same but it is affecting my health. I have so many aches and pains.
I can’t see him going to bed early, he just isn’t used to that. He tries to fit a lot in.
I try to sleep during the day but don’t feel any better and if I was out working, rather than in working, I’d obviously not be able to do that.
There is another room, with a pull up bed that is up for when my daughter stays but he doesn’t like it up all the time as it takes up room.
If I tried to stay in bed, I’d get disturbed by him getting dressed and doing his hair (which takes him ten minutes!) as he has to come into the bedroom to do it. And as I said, I’m a light sleeper.
His ex wife always used to get up with him but at least then he used to get up at six. Now he says he gets up this early to avoid traffic and get a parking space.
If only he got up at a more normal time! Am I destined to another twenty years of sleep deprivation?!
Help, any ideas?

The room with a pull up bed in it, is that a bedroom? or another room you use?

How many bedrooms does the property have and how many people live there?

Why do you have to get up with him? Can't he put his clothes in another room the night before and do his hair in the bathroom, so you can have another couple of hours sleep?

Ear plugs to help with light sleeping? Not much you can do about when he leaves? Put the fold up bed up after every use? Get a more comfy sofa/sofa bed!

Can you go to bed earlier? Then at least you'd get a couple of hours of undisturbed sleep.

My dh sometimes snores and he gets up at 4.40 am to goet to work.
I understand your knackeredness op.
My dh puts his clothes in the other room. Gets up as quietly as possible and sneaks out of the house.
We also have 2 kids and a dog that don't get woken up.
You need to get him to change his routine. It's very unfair on you.
He needs to see his GP for his snoring and consider sleeping in the other bed a couple of nights a week so you can sleep undisturbed.

The room with a pull up bed isn't really a bedroom, more a study, so not much room in there and he likes there to be more room in there so he can work. It is meant to be a 3 bed, but the other bedroom is tiny, no room for a bed. Only he and I live there, my daughter stays sometimes who is almost 18. He won't put his clothes on in another room cos he has to lie on the bed to do his hair (just don't ask!). Tried ear plugs, he drowns them out! I would put up the fold up bed but quite a task to be honest and to be put it back down each night. No money for a better sofa :-( Going to bed earlier could be an option though he'd disturbed me when he goes to bed and it would probably affect our relationship. Bit of a nightmare really (or would be if I could sleep!) Thank you so much for your replies. I just wish I could see a solution.

OK I know you said you've tried ear plugs but the ones you buy from the shops for a few quid are rubbish.

I got some proper fitted and moulded ear plugs from a hearing aid centre. they cost £100 but I literally hear NOTHING with them in. You could be drilling a hole in my bedroom floor and I wouldn't hear it with those babies in!!! They are comfortable too.

You're getting ill from fatigue and he refuses to get ready in another room because he needs to lie on the bed to do his hair?!? What a selfish git.

And what tumble said too. He doesn't seem very concerned about your welfare

Has he ever seen a doctor about his snoring?

My DH used to snore so loudly that it kept me awake. He was diagnosed with sleep apnoea and now wears a mask to sleep in. No more snoring!

His refusal to let you rest because he needs to do his hair is just ridiculous.

He sounds selfish and self absorbed OP. Why can't he do his hair downstairs? Is his hair really that important? You need to discuss this with him and find a solution that works for both of you as your health is going to be affected if you don't get enough sleep.

Wow, he is selfish. It's bad enough that he won't agree to the pull out bed being up all the time because he snores, but then to make you wake up at 5:30 !

I think you need to spell it out to him that it's making you ill and affecting your ability to work. He needs to learn to do his hair a normal way. If he uses a hair dryer, put it in the other bedroom. Also, he should put his clothes in the other room each night.

Hope you can persuade him to stop being such an idiot.

You think you going to bed earlier would affect your relationship yet his selfishness and refusal to change any part of his routine isn't?!

You're being a doormat and he's bring a selfish knob. Go to bed early, get a better spare bed option or dump him.

Thank you so much for all your replies. And I do agree with what you are saying! I mean he can be thoughtful and so loving...yet, I think he is thoughtless and stuck in his routine ways...that need to change! I will talk with him. Maybe show him this conversation (that would go down well!) but ultimately, something has to give. Thank you for your support, really appreciate it.

Could he possibly look at an anti-snoring device? I am female /emo/te/8.gif and have snored for years. I spent £250 on a custom made mouthpiece at my dentist & my DP doesn't hear a thing. It has transformed our sleeping patterns.