I have been friends with this person for around 6 years. We first met just after we had our first sons, now 6, and were really good friends for the first couple of years. We shared a nanny, went to baby groups together, lunches, and used to see each other with the kids pretty much every weekend. It wasn't just because we were new mums either but we had similar professional/high profile jobs and really got on on a personal level. This person was also there for me when I found out my ex husband was having an affair and she and her DH were kind/supportive when I was basically a single parent, which was long before my ex and I actually split as he was never around or helpful in any way. That said, she and her DH have always been quite competitive in terms of the kids which I struggled with when we were sharing a nanny as it was always their son is so much clever etc than mine, is going to walk sooner etc which I tried to ignore. Things got more tricker when we went on holiday together 2 years ago and my DS pushed their DS (who couldn't swim) into the pool, (they were both 4 at the time) and their son could't swim. DS could so I don't think realised the consequence of what he did but there was no drama or close call and DS was suitably told off but since then my friend's DH has been horrid to my DS. We stopped hanging out but even if this person sees my DS he refuses to acknowledge him and just glares at him to manages to tell him off for something. They invited her to a party at their house last year for their DS"s birthday and before we left DS asked if the dad would be there. I said yes and asked why and he said, "he doesn't like me and is horrible to me" so I promised I would keep a close eye and not let this person be horrid to DS. We then went to the party and, mid way through, I walked into the kitchen to catch the dad giving DS a nasty and OTT telling off after DS had accidentally walked through some water that someone had spilt on the floor. I saw him turning DS's head to look at the water when DS said he hadn't seen it. I stupidly didn't react at the time other than to say, I don;t think he meant to cause a mess, it's just water etc, but afterwards texted my friend to say that the telling off was way OTT and to ask if everything was ok as my DS was upset and feels that her DH does not like him. My friend texted back to say sorry and that her DH had been weird lately and horrid to her too, so I reassured my son and let it go. Since then we have seen each other less and less and, very sadly, the boys, who were good friends, also rarely see each other. My nanny often asks their nanny for play dates as my DS always want to see my friend's DS but the nanny always makes excuses or never responds. We were still seeing each other once a month or so for a quick drink until around two months ago when we met when she was very drunk. We were talking about the children when she suddenly said: "oh my DS HATES your DS. He says he is just like his dad." I was completely taken back and didn't know what to say so just said, I am very sorry to hear that, my DS does not hate your DS at all, perhaps we can try to get them together and work this out. I left shortly after, mulled it over then texted her a few days later to say that I was surprised by her comment, that my DS likes her son v much and so it's a shame, that I would like us to be friends but it's now v difficult as I feel both her son and DH don't like my son who I love to pieces and so not sure where this leaves us. She texted back immediately to say sorry for upsetting me and saying her son had been a bit weird lately, saying that about several kids, basically trying to gloss it over, although she didn't mention her DH. Separately to all this, I am getting married next month (second time, very low key) and given all the problems with her was wondering whether to invite her. I decided that she had been a good friend and that I would like her to be there, and DS wants her DS there too, but that i didn't want her DH there unless he was going to be kind, or at least normal, to DS. I then met for a drink with her and told her that I wanted her there but had concerns about her DH coming as I didn't want my son upset. She was v understanding and said she would talk to him and if he didn't agree to behave, just she and her DS would come. which I was happy with. However, since then, I have tried to re-start play-dates with their nanny and she is still refusing to arrange anything, either ignoring texts or making up obviously crap excuses which are so bad even my nanny can see through them. I am not sure if this is her own decision or if she has been told by the dad to not see my kids. Either way, I am now thinking what is the point of having this person to my wedding if our kids cannot even get together for a play-date when we live 2 streets away? I valued our friendship but I cannot be friends with someone who dislikes my son or does not try to sort out a situation where her partner dislikes and has been horrible to my son. I am also angry and shocked that someone can behave this way to a child, especially to a child who has had a shit time in recent years dealing with a divorce and other issues. I really expected better from friends. I am now thinking that I must disinvite this person to the wedding but am wondering how and what explanation I give. Does this seem the right thing to do or unfair? And how on earth should I raise it with her?