Normal for a nice non abusive man to become an emotional bully if you end relationship?

[Divorcestatistic]

I know he is angry. I know I've shattered his idealised image of the family.

But really, telling me I have to leave because I have to suffer the consequences of my actions. This is not for him to decide surely- Joint mortgage ( I am primary carer to DC)

All I don't want to do is be intimate with him again. What should I have done- let him going on thinking there might be hope. Ten years down the line- tell him then.

If you decided to leave your relationship- did your once "nice" husband change into someone you could hardly recognise?

He cannot stop you leaving with the children. Try and stay by all means but if it gets really bad you (all) can go. If he becomes aggressive you can also call the police and get him removed.

I agree with those who say you should NOT give up your equity in the house. You own it jointly, you're entitled to your fair share.

We are not married- joint tenants on the mortgage

He says the equity is his mothers as she put down a huge deposit.

I am being pushed into making a decision within a very short time-scale

I told him I don't want to discuss until I have someone else in the room as I am scared I will be emotionally blackmailed into make a quick/wrong decision.

The mediators are impartial and I am a bit worried they will sit back and watch me make a deal I'm not happy with but I will make sure I get everything he documents sent to a solicitor for comment.

Can you postpone going to mediation until after you've spoken to a solicitor?

I have already spoken to a solicitor who told me not to move out. However when I raised this with ExP he got very angry at me first over SMS then in front of my children. Because I don't want to get this reaction again, I'm keeping my cards close to my chest and just hoping in mediation I can raise all my concerns.

If the mediator thought someone was being emotionally/ financially pressured/billies would they break confidentiality agreement to help you?

billies=bullied