Hi, I think you are me, actually . I was exactly the same, it is so hard to let go when you're the one doing the vast majority of the care, especially if you're a bit that way inclined anyway - like me!! I still do it occasionally and ds is now 2.8 and dd is almost 13 months. It is totally normal and part of being a new mum. My dh also works quite long hours and I know exactly what you mean about the 'fun' part thime dad. It isn't their fault though and dh and I came to an agreement where he got up with the baby on a weekend morning, I stayed in bed, with the door shut tight so any noise was minimised and let him get on with it. I also used to repeat constantly to myself 'different is not wrong' because dh always did things his way, as everybody does! I soon realised that it didn't matter if their bedtime routine was slightly different with him than with me, or he held them differently while feeding or rocking to sleep, etc because they accepted the method from whichever parent had them iyswim.
It is so bloody hard in the early days and your hormones don't help matters either. I used to have to take a very deep breath, walk out of the room and find something else to do and bite my tongue very, very hard.
It does get easier as you become more confident in your abilities as a mum and your dh's skills as a dad. In a way, their learning curve is harder than ours because they do miss out on so much. It wasn't until dh pointed out how much he hated going to work and leaving me and the baby that I realised he didn't have it easier at all. Alright, he got a break from it all but he also missed so many of the tiny things that make parenthood worthwhile. I did stop me feeling quite so resentful and made me force myself to take a step back when he was home.
Sorry, for rambling, hope I said something vaguely helpful in all that!!