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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friends split and something nice to do?

4 replies

Starfisher09 · 06/08/2014 17:37

So one of my best friends has split with his girlfriend of 9 years a couple of weeks ago. I knew they'd been arguing for a long time so it wasn't as much of a shock as it could have been, but obviously it's hit him really hard.

He's totally gone into his shell and not talking to anyone. That's fair enough and I've gave him his space and texted to say I'm always here if he needs me. I'm just more worried I guess because he has depression and I don't want him to sink to as low as he's been before but at the same time I don't want to seem like I'm hassling him.

My DP is saying just leave him alone and he'll be in touch when he's ready. I don't know whether it's because he's a guy that's affecting my thoughts but if it was a female friend I go over with a box if their fave treats and just listen to them, but my DP thinks just leave it and don't get involved. He now is living with his parents and trying to juggle the break up, stressful job, 3 kids and all the other life stresses so is probably not the most convenient to take up his time given his location as well.

So I was thinking about sending his a box of treats to his work to cheer him up a bit. Good idea or not?

No other woman or anything if that matters, just one of those things that they've fallen out of love and are just like housemates...

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 06/08/2014 17:39

If you'd do it for a female friend, then go for it with a male one.
Won't cause any harm, surely?

GoatsDoRoam · 06/08/2014 18:26

Sounds like you actually want to give him a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear, which makes you a great friend. So why don't you offer that?

"Hey, DFriend, how about we meet for a coffee on Sunday at xxx place at xxx time." or something.

Starfisher09 · 06/08/2014 18:37

I have done that Goats but he isn't talking to anyone but is understandably busy and stressed with the whole situation. That's why I was thinking about dropping some stuff off at work so that in his lunch he'd have something nice to look forward to. Just didn't want to smother him and I know I'd appreciate it if a friend did the same for me. Just my do has made me funny about it in as much as a guy wouldn't appreciate it. Maybe he's the funny bugger...

OP posts:
Pepperwitheverything · 06/08/2014 19:24

A box of treats is a lovely idea. It puts no pressure on him and let's him know he is your thoughts. Maybe a nice card to go with it? With a heartfelt message. You sound like such a lovely friend!!!

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