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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

psychic readings for relationship advice

36 replies

headscratching · 06/08/2014 12:11

Has anyone been to one where they were looking for guidance on a relationship and did it help?

I did and she told me positive stuff. I felt content and relaxed and put my doubts as to wether this relationship is right for me as we have had a stressful time of late. DP went on another date for a laugh as he would be very sceptical about this stuff but he was given similar reading to me. We compared notes. She specifically mentioned me as his soul mate and my name. However since he has gone he has been acting very strange. He is quieter and cancels doing things and frankly I feel he was dissapointed to hear I was his soulmate! I have asked him how he felt when he was told this information and said he doesn't take that advice from a psychic. However everything else in his reading he took quiet seriously and was quiet freaked at the accuracy.

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 06/08/2014 13:01

I was just wondering if you haven't almost shot yourself in the foot by even mentioning the soulmate concept. If DP thinks you now expect absolute perfect compatibility, it might kill his motivation to work at having a successful relationship with you.

Very simplistic answer and I know it won't autmatically solve anything but if work has been especially hateful lately are you both overdue a holiday? Not necessarily a lavish faraway break just a long weekend somewhere away from work and preferably no distractions just you and him to unwind.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 06/08/2014 13:02

Maybe he is feeling a bit pressured with all this talk about soul mates and perhaps he feels uncomfortable about a relationship with someone who does ask for relationship advice from a "psychic".

That could very well be it.

headscratching · 06/08/2014 13:21

What do you want to happen now OP? It might to time for a heart to heart.
I want him to put effort back into our relationship. I have been way down the list of priorities due to work stress and I don't want it to become a habit now.

OP posts:
firesidechat · 06/08/2014 13:26

I'm with your partner, sorry. Why would he want to out his future in the hands of a complete stranger and a charlatan to boot. (The physic, not you).

It's rubbish and at least your partner has the sense to realise that. My husband would have run a mile if I had suggested this to him.

I know I'm being a bit OTT about this, but it annoys me so much.

gatewalker · 06/08/2014 13:28

I'm a tarot reader, but I use tarot as a tool for reflection (much like an inkblot test), and I discourage relationship readings, and for one main reason: they are disempowering. They have a tendency to stop someone from trusting their own intuition and good sense, and they put the responsibility for the relationship in the hands of a third party. Relationship-wise, talking is always better; and if you can't talk, then there is no relationship to speak of.

headscratching · 06/08/2014 14:31

It's rubbish and at least your partner has the sense to realise that.
I haven't explained well. he went to her after me as mine was very factual and wanted to see was it a load of rubbish.

But I agree. This has put pressure obviously on a relationship. i had suspected this but wanted to see what others thought.
It's sad. And even though so many of you say why would I ask a third party. I wasn't asking about my relationship as such, I was at a cross roads in life and just wanted to see what would be said to me. Asking a third party is what everyone does here on the forums....

OP posts:
Fontella · 06/08/2014 15:00

Asking a third party is what everyone does here on the forums....

Yes and what you get here is a variety of opinion from many women and indeed men .. all of whom have had direct experience of relationships in one form or another. That's useful, and can be very helpful. It also doesn't cost you nowt other than the time it takes to post. You'll get a whole gamut of opinion, suggestion, advice - some of it good, some of it not so good, some of it useful, some of it not.

That is vastly different from a single 'third party' who sits across the table from you claiming she has psychic powers and talking about 'soulmates'.

'She was very factual' is the thing that seems to persuade some that 'there's something in it'. ' Ah well you see, she told me this and she knew the name of my great aunt Fanny and I never told her, so how could she know this, and she told me I had my heart broken once before in the past - and it's true! I did! Amazing!' etc. etc. All of the evidence in support of these people is anecdotal but when any are subjected to any kind of analysis - it all goes down the crapper.

I had a 'psychic' once tell me to check the radiator in my daughter's room as there was a fault with it. A day or so later, well, whadya know - the radiator wasn't getting hot when you turned the central heating on. Impressive! Shame all the rest of it was bollocks.

Like I said - 'Cold Reading .... Shotgunning .... The Forer Effect' - look them up. Clever and persuasive, but still bollocks I'm afraid.

heyday · 07/08/2014 06:57

It could be that she told him something a bit scary about his own life ie a possible reference to a loved deceased one or possible concerns about his own future health and this has worried him but he doesn't want to discuss it.
Perhaps you are both at a real cross roads in your lives and relationship. Whatever was said during these readings and whether you want to believe it is totally up to you but it's time for a reality check now. If you both want this relationship to continue then you have to put to one side what was said in this reading and start working hard to get your relationship back on track. Start putting some happiness, love and laughter back into your relationship to give it a real chance to flourish. The future is not ours to see, we have to live for today and let tomorrow look after itself.
Do not mention this reading again, don't mention soul mates again. Let him woe you again, many men like the thrill of the chase rather than boring predictability. I would say that your future is in your hands now and not the vague words of a psychic. Good luck.

FunkyBoldRibena · 07/08/2014 07:10

If it gets to the stage where you have to ask a psychic whether your relationship is worth staying in, then you need to get out.

Is my opinion.

murphys · 07/08/2014 07:25

From my own experience I don't think relationship advise via a physic is helpful. Let me tell you why. I had a very good friend whos fiancé broke the engagement off 2 weeks prior to their wedding. To say she was devastated was an understatement. It would seem he met a woman at work and this is why he called the wedding off.

Her ex and his new girlfriends relationship moved very fast. They got engaged within 3 months and planned the wedding straight away to be 3 months later (so 6 months after the breakup).

My friend couldn't deal with it, so went to a well known physic. She wanted to know if the ow was pregnant and if the ex really loved her and basically why she was dumped and he moved on so fast. THe physic told her, she wasn't pregnant, she also told her that he didn't love this women as much as he loved her, and she felt that he was feeling regretful about what he had done, and didn't really want to marry this women. She also said that it would all come out the night before the wedding, and the wedding wouldn't go ahead. BUT guess what, the wedding did go ahead! To cut a very long story short, my friend ended up being admitted into the clinic for depression and was put onto suicide watch. It was me that found her in the bathroom with her wrists slit. She believed EVERY SINGLE WORD that this women told her, and when it was clear she was talking bollocks and was just telling my friend what she wanted to hear.

I should add that years later her ex and the new girlfriend are still married, quite happily afaik as my brother is still quite close friends with them.

It takes away a bit of common sense I think, you want to believe what you are being told to be true, but really OP this experiences made me look at physics in a different light.

I think you need sit down with dh and talk. Forget the physic and just talk!

aylesburyduck · 07/08/2014 08:44

What FunkyColdRibena said:

If it gets to the stage where you have to ask a psychic whether your relationship is worth staying in, then you need to get out.

Is my opinion

I am in total agreement

I have had my tarot cards and angel cards read in the past, and it was just a bit of a giggle if I am honest. If you find comfort/peace/understanding in them then that is fair enough, but a psychic has a vested interest in your money rather than your relationship.

You'd be better off talking to your OH.

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