Confused..sad etc

[BadMother2014]

I have 2 children under 3 and for the past few months my best friend has been trying to concieve. She has been going through IVF and Ive supported her every step of the way. Even when she said seeing my kids was too painful I tried to understand. When she never came to see me while I was pregnant, even though I was very ill I tried to understand. I recently suffered a miscarriage which I only told her about after she had her egg transfer as I didnt want to create any distress. I was still freshly upset about it but I still swallowed it down and talked to her about doing her pregnancy test and how excited she was. Sadly the test came up negative and she is facing doing another round of IVF.. one of which I have offered money so she can do it sooner, which she gladly accepted.
Today my partner had to undergo surgery for possible tumors. I had told her about this and it turns out he has had to have three biopsy's today with quite an awful procedure. Obviously now we are very worried and it doesnt look good. Yet today I have had no phonecall or text to ask how things went and I feel totally let down by her. Feeling like things are a one way street. Am i over reacting?

??

You can't find reason in the unreasonable. You know she's wrong, nobody would disagree with that. Rant away knowing you can't change this, only she can and she's ckeay not going to. Time try and find acceptance and try to move on.

Update: after writing on her ivf blog that she has learned life lessons from rubbish friends she has now defriended me from every social media platform. I have just responded by posting nothing but happy things. After i realised she had cancelled me, I decided to disassociate from her. I had created her twitter acc for her business which I had now deleted on my phone. Suddenly my phone rang.... it was her. She then left a message saying she had recieved notification someone had logged in. I replied saying it was me and why I had done it. I also then said i loved her and wished her well and i hope she got what she always dreamed of. No response. She then tweeted that once you cross hwr that is it.
Im quite hurt and i honestly find this behaviour very childish. I feel like writing to her ... 10 yrs friendship down the pan.
Oh and my partner has colon cancer

I'm so sorry for your partner, and your losses, this persona, she's not a friend quite frankly sounds like a childish manipulative cow.

And hugely self absorbed/obsessed. I know the yearning a of a child plus m.c I can't comprehend Ivf granted but have friends who have and are going through it. None of whom are like your friend.

You are better off without her and concentrating on your family. I wonder if she will try to be friendly in a few months when she realises she will need your money for ivf?

I too lost a friend due to her ivf. I won't share the whole story but I supported her for years, to the detriment of my own health and well being. She became an emotional sponge, and lost all interest in others. I also had fertility issues, and when I fell pregnant she couldn't speak to me. Friendship over.
I don't pretend to understand the hell she, or your friend, is going through. I do know however that friendship always remains two way, and you can't excuse terrible and selfish behaviour for years.

So sorry about your partner Op.

I'm very sorry about your partner too, OP.

It sounds like your friend has lost all rationality and is better off left. She sounds completely self-absorbed and unable to give you any support, now you need it.

You could always write the letter and then not send it. It might make you feel better.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you! I am actually struggling now daily not to absolutely blast her and send her a message..... please tell me I am doing the right thing by not entering into a war of words.
10 years friendship just cut off. Its making me feel sick.