Dating someone younger

[Reese123]

So, this guy at work who is 10 years younger than me casually asked me on a date, if I blinked I would have missed it lol. I said "no thanks" as we were at different stages in our life and something about it being inappropriate. I never saw this guy in that way. The problem is I have developed feelings for him, which were so unexpected. I literally can't speak to him because I am so bad with men.

I am torn about the way I feel about him. I was going to tell him last week but could literally not bring myself to do it. I mean what if he does not think about me like that anymore.

I am so confused, does anyone have any advice for me? Thanks for your time.

Ask him out. Carpe diem and all that.

If you like him then go for it.

10 years is nothing!

No one would think twice if you were a man dating a younger woman, so I'm all for equality....go for it! If you fancy him that is.

Ask him out!

'Sorry, I shouldn't have said no so quickly when you asked me out. I was a little surprised to be honest and you caught me off guard. If you're still up for it I'd love to go out with you.'

I said yes. Married him

Although it's just nine years here

I got quite pissed on one of our dates early on and was saying things like 'but I am old. And you are young! And I'll want kids soon. And you are YOUNG. you won't want kids and stuff!'

Not the most eloquent way of doing things but we established early on that if he wanted to go out with an old(er) bird it would perhaps mean he'd have to think about kids/commitment etc 10/15 years younger than others his same age. And I accepted things too

I fell pregnant unexpectedly a few months into the relationship and I found out he was the most wonderful kind supportive man... He moved 300 across the country to be with me.

And here we are, five years later, me in bed mumsnetting and him snoring like a 50 year old man

Thanks for your responses, did anyone feel guilty for feeling like they would be trapping someone in a relationship when he should really be going out, getting drunk and having loads of girlfriends?

Er...unless you hold a chloroform cloth over his face, I guess he'll make his own decisions.

If he likes you, he'll want to go out with you.
If he falls for you, he falls for you.
I doubt your birth certificate will feature that heavily in his decision making process

(For clarification, DP is 15 years older. Absolutely adore him. Never give the gap a thought. He's delicious)

I'm currently seeing a guy 11 years younger (I'm 35 and he's 24). Because of the difference in lifestyles and life stages we keep it open, partly because I'm ridiculously commitment-phobic and partly because i don't want to hold him back from meeting someone who will give him marriage and kids one day, as I've been there and done that and don't wish to do it again!

He's actually more keen to be an exclusive couple than I am, but I do have reservations so am taking a casual approach for now. I really don't see anything wrong with it in principle though, no-one bats an eyelid when the man is older so why shouldn't it be the other way around? Bullshit double standards innit.

OP - very briefly yes, I did have those concerns

But I don't think DP is an immature idiot incapable of knowing his own mind - him being in this relationship is entirely his own decision. He's chosen me over all of that and you just have to go for it. And really, I could have chosen to be free and single for longer too.

Just go on the bloody date and stop getting ahead of yourself

OMG - now I have to listen about his lunch dates (he actually had a date at lunch time). It's actually really hurtful, how on earth do I cope with having to hear his dating stories.

Maybe he's trying to make you jealous. Bite the bullet and let him know you're interested. Perhaps say "maybe you and I could have a lunch date soon" and see what his response is. I bet he'd jump at the chance.