Anyone come across blatant ageism

[whatisforteamum]

I just wondered if anyone else has come across ageism at work.I am familiar with the whole taking things further through a tribunal but i cant believe my boss who is only 8 yrs younger than me goes on so much.Everything thing from "i cant believe you heard that at your age" to "she works very fast eventhough she is not a looker" to " i prefer young fit girls not old wrinkly ones" IM only 47 and feel age is a privilidge not a burden.I have a nice trim figure and dress as nice as i can afford to.This weeks comment was " you didnt come to the staff party..has it occured to you ,you are old enough to be everyone who works here,s MUM!!!" weirdly out of 25 workers no one else has a problem with me,i get the odd joke off one guy but it is only banter.Personally i think it is transference( how he feels about himself) what do you ladies reckon :)

What a knob
He sounds like he is have a mini mid life crisis even though he is only early forties and projecting onto you.
I would have a word and ask him to stop making references to your age/looks or you will have no option but to take it further. How long have you worked with him?

Sounds like bullying to me.

Do you have an HR department?

Or is there a union rep?

well my job has been for 10 and half yrs we got taken over last september and many people left from the original team.Im sure he wants a whole new team and has tried to throw me under the bus a few times not helping out with getting me registered online to book hols.He speaks to the others in a very different way to me but i dont mind i just find the whole age thing weird as im never late and only had a couple of weeks off this yr first time in over 8 !!He has been my boss for almost 1 ys.I told him i cant wait to be 50 as with Mum and Dad having cancer i know life is too short to worry about how old i am.( im a chef so looks dont come into it but im not that bad ha ah)

Your boss is a dick. Call him on it in front of the team and watch him squirm.

What a gem he sounds

Is he a chef too?

There is such thing as constructive dismissal, where someone is deliberately making your life hell, so you will be forced to leave.

I would make precise notes of comments + dates/times and any witnesses, plus your response to the comments.

I wouldn't take it down the ageism path, it is less enforceable than the well-trodden path of constructive dismissal.

Go through your union or HR and if I were you, don't discuss with colleagues, keep it formal and official so there is no accusations of collusion or "stirring" that he could accuse you of.

no he is not a chef,when he has to cook his temper comes out in swearing and slamming,he knew my husband had a heart attack a few weeks after we joined the new company he said a couple of nice things but remained his bully boy .He also knows how much i love working there too.

Goodpoint thegonnagle i could mention it at the next team meeting although it would look like im sensitive about it i thought he would tire of the subject if i rose above it.

One you aren't employed for your figure or looks so please don't defend them here.
If you have an HR dept or equality officer report it.

You need to call him out on these comments, politely, calmly in front of the team (your witnesses) Then straight away take him aside for a chat and tell him these comments are unacceptable and you expect it to stop - you don't find it funny but demeaning.
Ageist, harassment, bullying - take your pick.
He is a prick but there is a chance he think's it's banter and you are ok with it as you haven't wanted to make a fuss. You need to make it clear it's completely unacceptable.

Yes I've experienced ageism at work, my age and experience ended up baling the young tit out of a very tight corner he couldn't handle so he is more respectful now.
I thnk ageism is always going to be there and attitudes are hard to change but what you are dealing with is totally unacceptable.
Diarise events/comments/witnesses from now on.

I would say it is transference too because otherwise he would come to know you and not see the age thing.

Maybe you remind him if his teacher or something.

When is his 40th, perhaps you could 'mistakenly' think it is sooner than it is and ask him what he's planning for it in front of everyone else . Perhaps that is his problem, he kids himself he is the age of the young staff.

Thanks ladies,yes Doziedoozie he tries to get invited to the others parties as he is quite lonely.Doesnt hardly see his ex or kids who are little (which must be hard).He got very upset he wasnt invited to a 21st !! He went on at the poor waitress until she felt bad.Eventhough he was our new boss and not a longtime friend.
i am pretty sure he is not at the life stage he wanted to be nearing 40.My colleagues have all commented on how he treats me, not just the comments but his tone of voice.One man even said " he may like the young girls but they dont like him" (over weight angry man that he is).He must ve realized he is old enough to be their DAD and does not like it.
The biggest shame is the job is in a beautiful location and everyone else makes me laugh so much that is why i have stayed.I shall take your advice and see what happens.I prefer to think of getting older as a good thing but he tries to make my life a misery by constantly banging on about something i cant change

I have a notebook and im writing down comments incl previous ones.According to one website it is agism to refer to baldness and wrinkles etc.To me it is a drip drip of knocking of my self esteem with other home factors.Im not sure when i became such a doormat all i know is alot of it is for the kids putting up with less than i deserve for money and keeping the family unit.