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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Angry bird

2 replies

QuestionableTactics · 04/08/2014 16:20

Hi all,
Although I wouldn't actually say I have anger ishoos, I mean I'm not violent and throw tantrums etc, I am v emotional in general and (perceived) upsets and let downs can make me seethe within seconds.
If its family members like sis or ds, I'm somehow more rational and although the hurt is there, I'm more inclined to forgive or detach or whatever is more appropriate.
I left dh1 because he baited me and was an arse in general in our relationship. I'm glad ds still wants to see him though...
Dh2 now at least admits he has strong passive aggressive tendencies that wind me up no end. Both his parents are like this still, so I suppose he doesn't know any better, but he has promised to work on it.
In return I d love to know of some secret mantra I could practice saying to myself when I get into a state of seething (before I actually accuse him of anything).
I don't feel that just distracting myself is good enough, it just puts off confronting the issue, in either myself or dh.
Thanks for any advise xx

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/08/2014 16:33

I don't want to sound facetious but how well do you get to know your partners before deciding to commit? If you're very emotional are you also prone to being impulsive or irrational? Are you a bit of a bully? Why does DH2 have to 'admit' to strong passive aggressive tendencies... wasn't that obvious at an earlier stage?

I'm not sure a mantra's going to help you when there's a serious incompatibility. You might benefit from personal or couples counselling to help you find a way to air disagreements and still speak kindly to each other.

evelynj · 04/08/2014 16:40

i second the counselling, will help you both-relate is vg

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