remembering my dad

[OurMiracle1106]

25 years ago today my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I was just a year and two days old at the time. He fought with courage but on October 31st 1989 lost his fight to cancer. I grieve for the man I never knew. The dad I would never have because life took him too soon. I miss him even though I never knew him. I wonder what if.

It hurts. I know so little about him. He was married to someone else but I don't know if they had kids. Am I really only one of two or did he have kids with his wife? Did she know about me? Did he love my mum at all?

I can't ask my mum. She herself passed last year hhaving herself fought cancer and lost her own battle.

I miss them both more so.today

I'm sorry for your losses ourmiracle and most of all for the unknowns. The what-ifs. The yearning.

I hope you find some comfort.

Hi ourmiracle

This must all be very painful for you and it's a shame you didn't get any answers to your questions before your mother passed away.

You could consider tracing your Dad's family, but I think it would be a good idea to get some counselling on this first as it has a lot of ramifications for you and others.

You ask if you are one of two. Do you have a full sibling? Can you talk to them about all this?

And also your Mother's family? Older relatives may know a lot more about the situation than you (esp. your uncles and aunts).

My mum was an only child. I know my dad had two sisters but one passed away when she was only young and if his older sister is still alive she would be in her mid to late 80's.

I have an older sister but we are no contact and she wouldn't tell me anything anyway even if she did know, although she was just 6 when we lost dad.