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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My mum makes me so tired

42 replies

Dancingstar · 04/08/2014 02:37

I feel very selfish and guilty writing this. I don't know if I am being unkind about my mum because I'm sure she loves me, but it is such an emotionally demanding and suffocating kind of love. She seems to be always "ill". I feel so unkind saying this but it is almost as if she uses illness as a form of control. For exiample, I have a busy, stressful job. There are some weeks where when I finish work I can barely put one foot in front of the other I am so tired so in those times I don't normally phone her. But if I leave it more than 5 or 6 days she is always ill in bed when I do phone. Its almost like I have to be guilty about not calling. She doesn't get ill if I am phoning 2 or 3 times a week.

She doesn't seem to understand that I have a life that is involved, interesting and very different to the one that she had. She constantly questions what I do and why I do it, but not in an interested way, more in a judgemental way. To be honest I don't tell her much about my life and my job now because I feel like I have to justify myself all the time. It's as if she doesn't understand that I have different interests, opinions, likes and dislikes to her.

Sometimes I just like to turn my phone off and have some peace and quiet but invariably if she has tried to call me and I don't answer she gets near hysterical and tells me how worried she's been about me. Today, after two weeks when I feel that I have had no time to myself I "disappeared" off for the afternoon to a local tourist spot. I came back to find messages from sundry relatives telling me my mum had been taken ill and they'd had to call 999. I felt annoyed - and then guilty about being annoyed-because it was as though she intruded on the bit of space I tried to make for myself. But then when I eventually spoke to my brother it turned out the paramedics had said it was a none emergency and that she was now snoring away in bed. I know that if I go and see her tomorrow I will have to answer questions about where I went and why and will end up having to justify doing something that she won't understand. I just feel the need to have time and space to myself sometimes. There is nothing wrong with that, is there?

OP posts:
Meerka · 04/08/2014 12:24

dancingstar I think you've got a few things on their head here.

Your mother has a pattern for many years of being ill ( the PP who said he's 80 and may often be ill clearly didn't read that bit). So you have to take the long view, while accepting that she may genuinely be ill. It happens at 80.

She's playing the Tug For Attention game in spades - what, your brother goes out for a few hours and she has to get ill? every time she can't get you even for a few hours, she's ill? For years? No, this isnt illness. This is uberneediness and controllingness.

Now she's entitled to some attention and love, yes. Every half-way decent parent is (though some don't even quality as half-way, sadly). But not to dominate your life.

So a couple of calls a week seems fine and the odd visit if she's 300 miles away. And like PP's said, say that you're keeping the phone off the rest of the time. Just don't answer.

Beyond that, every time she says she's ill, tell her to ring the doctor (sorry doctor!). If it's an emergency she can ring 999 as she did. I'm sorry, but the relatives will very soon get used to her ringing them up and telling everyone she's dying - 6 times a month. I've been in your shoes, people get wise very fast, except the poor schmucks who are immediate family to the oh-so-ill person. You are showing your love and concern by ringing twice a week.

I would strongly recommend talking to your brother and sister about this and telling them you've going to take a different approach. If they're willing to go along with you and take the same approach, your mum is going to learn quickly that pulling the illness card won't work. Because that's what she's doing, pulling the illness card.

I think I must be such a selfish cow - I hate myself. Firstly, don't hate yourself, please. it doesn't help solve the problem.

Secondly, no, you are doing everything reasonable and over and above that.

Thirdly, actually its your mother who is being selfish. No reasonable and generous person expects their nearest and dearest to be absolutely at their instant attention 24/7 (which is what you are). That is selfish behaviour.

People often act like this when have learned that they can't ask for a reasonable amount of attention or to have their needs met. Has your mother been sidelined / had to put others' needs first for a long time at some point? People often develop these weird and unhealthy ways to ask for attention when that's the case. Mind you some just get like that anyway! Just askin' really =)

Again, it is reasonable and right for you to have your own life and to not be contactable for some hours.

Essay over :P

Dancingstar · 04/08/2014 14:14

I think she does get genuinely sick but I think that this is a result of her winding herself up about things. She is very judgmental and passive-aggressive. She is also very thin skinned. While she's been staying with my brother she went to see her own brother. She's not seen him for 10 years at least. We thought it would be a nice thing for her to do but she came back all upset because during the course of the conversation he had said to her that he wouldn't like to move far away from his family. I got a long rant afterwards about how he had upset her. I know that it will be raised time and time again -( I still hear about a remark her brother in law made over 30 years ago) It was his opinion and wasn't expressed in any malicious way but my mum took it as personal criticism of her life and got very upset about it.I sometimes think that I can see my brother going the same way as her - with the anxiety related illness stuff, I mean. My sister has minimum contact with her. I think I go to the opposite extreme and am so anxious not to be like her that I don't acknowledge when I am ill. Sorry, I'm ranting now....

OP posts:
GoatsDoRoam · 04/08/2014 14:39

don't apologise, you're not ranting. Sounds like this all needs to come out, and MN is an excellent place to vent.

Meerka · 04/08/2014 14:41

dancing have a good read of the Stately HOmes thread. Got a feeling you might find some of it quite revealing

Dancingstar · 04/08/2014 14:52

So the doctors been and she has an upset stomach. I do feel so mean because I said to her that every time she comes to visit there is some problem. The same when I go to hers to visit - she often gets taken ill part the way through and has to go to bed for a couple of days. So then she said to me the dr had asked her if she'd had any stress. I'm afraid I wasn't very kind and I replied that she always has stress. I think I've upset her now, I didn't mean to but I can't believe that there has been all this fuss about an upset stomach probably caused through her getting wound up by goodness knows what. I can't believe she went so far as to cause my brother to have to phone work and ask for a day off. I feel like such a bitch now but she is such a difficult person to be around.

OP posts:
GoatsDoRoam · 04/08/2014 14:56

Well, she is a difficult person to be around.

How would you like to handle that? (ie. number and length of visits and phone calls, stock responses you have at the ready for the typical attention-seeking things she does or says, ...)

DementedTiger · 04/08/2014 15:01

itsbetterthanabox "come on, she's your mum". I don't meant to be rude but really pisses me off when people make comments like this, unless you've been brought up by a difficult mother with issues you just won't get it.

No mother has the right to control, manipulate and emotionally abuse their children!

BBQSteak · 04/08/2014 17:00

dancer I think your doing great, but you need to set stronger boundries

start with a get together with your siblings to discuss whats going to happen and also be clear about what is not going to happen

you are right to put yourself first

I agree with the other poster, that its like putting on an oxygen mask,
sort yourself THEN you can help others

you need to prioritise yourself

neverputasockinatoaster · 04/08/2014 19:07

OP, my Dad always gets ill when he is around people. For him it is a stress thing related to things not being done the 'right' way.

He missed most of his partner's son's wedding because he was 'ill'. He gets 'ill' when we go and stay for a few days.

However, when he gets 'ill' he just takes himself off to a quiet place to be 'ill' by himself! I think this is because it is seen as acceptable to be 'ill' but not so acceptable to say he needs time to himself!

My mum makes me tired too OP. So very very tired!

Dancingstar · 04/08/2014 19:44

I'm sure that I will pay now for what were unkind remarks about there always being a problem when she comes to visit and her always having stress. The dr gave her medicine for indigestion. I know indigestion can be painful but does it warrant being in bed all day with a face like a sucked lemon? My brother said she's upset because my sister has gone on holiday with all her children and didn't invite my mum to go along. My mum has just been on holiday in Scotland for 2 weeks - staying in rather nice country house hotels! While shes been staying my brorher and i have taken her out to nice places, to nice cafes for afternoon tea etc but its like thats not good enough. I know she gets tired - but why doesn't she just go and have an afternoon nap everyday? why keep on and on until you are confined to bed for days with tiredness? I feel sorry for my brother because he was up half the night and has had the stress and worry of trying to get her registered with a local dr, worrying about what was wrong with her. He thinks he will be hauled over the coals tomorrow at work for having to take a day off at such short notice.

OP posts:
Walkacrossthesand · 04/08/2014 20:23

Firstly - it's time you and your brother Stopped Worrying! Why on earth is he worrying 'what might be wrong with her' - chances are it's minor & self limiting, and if it's not, you can all cross that bridge when you come to it. What purpose does him worrying himself sick now, serve?
Refuse to get sucked in to her illness dramas, and they lose their power, as someone said up thread. Left her pills behind? Well, she's compos mentis - give her the phone and your GP surgery number, and she sorts it out, you give her a lift to the chemist when needed. Not your problem, hers - and she's less likely to 'forget' next time. And so on...

springchickennolonger · 04/08/2014 20:25

My dm was like this. What got to me most was the constant judgement of my life choices: like yours, she would say "what are you doing that old thing for"? It didn't matter what it was, it was only worth doing if she approved of it. Makes you feel like crap, doesn't it?

You are obviously a caring, thoughtful person. If she continues, confront her on her behaviour and how it's affecting you. She's your mum, but that doesn't mean she's above reproach.

I think it's sometimes hard to believe that someone who should have your best interests at heart would deliberately hurt you in this way. But that's exactly what she's doing. Find ways to control her and I think you'll be much happier.

Dancingstar · 04/08/2014 23:53

Yes, Springchickennolonger, it does make you feel like crap. It's such a clever way of showing disapproval. Sadly I cope now by giving mum very little information about my life. She must think my life is very dull and boring - whereas in reality I am quite fulfilled. She has the same attitude towards my friends as well - to hear her talk my friends are out to use me in someway and are not my friends because they like me. That can make you feel pretty crap as well so I never really talk about them and what I do with them.

OP posts:
Meerka · 05/08/2014 10:50

dancingstar, seems to me your mother has her own interpretation of everything that goes on and it's rarely pleasant or positive.

Has she gotten much worse as she aged?

springchickennolonger · 05/08/2014 12:06

Yes, Dancing, she's clever and manipulative. You come across as a dutiful daughter who really cares about her. But I think it will always be always about her. She's unlikely to change, so I think you need to find ways to be comfortable with yourself despite her apparent disapproval of you. It's not nice to work hard at your life only to be shot down in flames by someone who's supposed to be batting in your corner.

I think she's waiting for you to fail so that she can laugh and say "I told you so!". My mother did this to me frequently: once she laughed out loud when I lost my job (redundancy) ; another time she blamed me for not looking after dd properly so that she ended up in hospital (bronchiolitis).

I get the not sharing details of your life too. When I had a miscarriage a while back I didn't tell dm as I know she would somehow make it about her.

If she is genuinely ill, do enough but no more. She won't appreciate your efforts, so don't stress over her.

Lottapianos · 05/08/2014 12:11

Dancingstar, this is weird because we seem to have the same mother! I think my parents think I have nothing going on in my life either - I decided ages ago not to share anything with them that matters to me because they piss all over it or I end up feeling like I have to justify myself. So I have lots of lovely stuff going on but they dont' get to hear about any of it. And because they don't trust anyone, they don't believe that other people's friendships can be positive, enjoyable, life affirming things. Same with having a partner - their own marriage is a never ending source of misery and they get very jealous of other people who have genuinely healthy relationships.

It's unbelievably tiring. Very sad but also very draining.

Meerka · 05/08/2014 12:30

dancing i re-red your posts ... you are not selfish. You are not.

You sound a lovely woman.

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