What do you do when you find you want different things in life

[Relivingmyouth]

To the person you are married to?

We have been together 10 years. Married for 5. Have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.

For example...
He hates outside I can't stand to be in.

He hates the beach- I can spend hours there.

He is aggressive and short tempered- I'm laid back.

I can go on, but at the moment it feels like we are poles apart

They are trivial I can see but it's everything....

Well, if you still love and respect each other its possible to negotiate around major lifestyle differences...

But the fact that you say he is aggressive and short-tempered suggests you are not making one another happy. This may or may not be related to having different interests. But aggression in a marriage is not good.

Have you discussed these lifestyle differences with him? Have you raised the aggression?

Have you always had these incompatibilities or have they only suddenly appeared or only suddenly become an issue for you? I can't believe these differences have suddenly started to happen after all these years

You either find some middle ground where you can respect each other's different likes and dislikes or you call it a day. However 'aggressive and short-tempered' sounds like a miserable thing to live with... Is it aimed at you or the world in general? Don't think there is a good way to compromise aggression without ending up being some kind of punch-bag

This was me and my now-ex DH. I loved steaks and roasts, he was vegetarian because he'd eaten veggie food in prison and developed a taste for it. I loved parties, he liked to stay in and smoke loads of weed. I loved watching films, he preferred to watch Grand Designs, and crap things like The History of Britain at War From the Air. I loved Coca Cola, he preferred Pepsi and Cocaine. I was lovely, he was a dick.

He finally suggested we split up, and it was the first thing we'd ever agreed on!

He has never or I don't think would ever lay a finger on me or the kids. But he treats me like a child- to the point where my three year old has said don't shout at mummy.

Example: yesterday when at friends I started joking we left the beach early ... He pointed at me with an agrees ice look on his face and said "don't"!

At the shop someone put their shopping on before he finished loading ours- he didn't ask to move it politely, he just shoved it all out of the way.

A few weeks ago we went to an outside concert he wanted to sit on picnic blanket - I wanted to dance. So we sat on the picnic blanket.

I think I want to leave. But I can't. I feel trapped by a mortgage and that I would be taking his children away. I have no where to go and no way of paying for anything.

I work pArt time so I have a wage but not sure how I can afford anything. I know people do though

No need to go on about it!!! Only joking you posted same thing four times! I had the same issues with my ex. We recently split up. It is very draining being with someone who never wants to do anything but you can do stuff with friends. The aggressive and moodiness is more of a problem. Can you discuss this with him?

If you do split up you will get maintenance and tax credits.