I thought this was an AIBU at first, but reading it over, I think it's really Relationships.
I work 4 days a week and have business travel perhaps twice a year. I suppose you could say I'm currently on the mummy track. DH on the other hand has to make about 2 short-haul trips per month (usually staying overnight or occasionally 2 nights) and about 1 long-haul trip per month (usually gone 3 to 5 days). I don't generally resent his trips. It's not as though he's obviously dying to be out the door. He doesn't like going particularly, but it's part of the job.
DH joined a new employer a little less than a year ago, and there's definitely been more travelling since he switched jobs (not more travelling than the above schedule I outlined, but the amount I outlined above. Before he travelled less). Of course, a lot of it is travel between here and head office in London, and when we move back to England next year, hopefully there will be less travelling because he'll be at head office already.
Today he told me his schedule for September, and he's going to fucking Australia for 10 days. Leaving on a Sunday morning, so the kids and I will not only miss out on a weekend with him while he's away, we'll also miss half the weekend before he goes. Turns out his boss was supposed to go, but Boss didn't want to and was hinting heavily that DH should "volunteer". So DH did, the mug. He's the new guy, and his office have been really good about his request to move back to England, so he felt obligated to show willing.
Anyway, we had a big row about the trip, both snapping at each other, and DH finally said, "You've been incredibly fucking hard to live with the past month or so. Maybe I want a break from you!" I slept in the study that night. We don't row usually, we have a pretty low-conflict relationship, so it sort of blindsided me that he would want to get away.
A little while ago my DM was diagnosed with cancer. They caught it early and her prognosis is reasonably good. She's been having a course of treatment to shrink the tumour and will be having an op soon. I'll be going back to London for it. It's also why we're making the move back to London next year. Well, it's one of the reasons. The biggest reason.
In retrospect, I have been more than usually horrible to live with ever since DM got the news. But he never said anything about being irritated with me. In fact, he's been really supportive right up until today.
It's not just the cancer, it's also that DM seems to be pulling away from me. I live abroad, but we've always emailed or SKyped nearly every day, and phoned at the weekends. She's getting more and more distant, and even the DC have noticed. The other day DS (aged 7) asked me if Granny was angry with him because she didn't want to Skype with him. She won't let us tell the DC about the cancer, she doesn't want them to worry.
DH keeps saying Mum's probably just petrified and exhausted, not to mention not looking her best from the treatment. He also says I shouldn't make it all about me when she's the one who's ill. But even though intellectually I know he's talking sense, it feels like a rejection and I am taking it personally. See, my parents split up when I was 2, and after that it was just DM and me. We've always been close. I mean, she's been reserved and independent with other people, but not with me.
I am reduced to begging my aunt for scraps of information about how DM is doing, because Aunt lives nearby and picks her up from treatment. If I ask DM herself, I always get, "Oh, I'm fine dear. You shouldn't worry so much." But I do worry, especially when she won't talk to me about her condition and makes excuses to end conversations.
So I'm a bit of a wreck, and in retrospect, I've been pretty snappy with DH lately. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised that he finally snapped back and wants a nice break from me. I should apologise, i know perfectly well, but I'm still holding a grudge about the Australia trip. I can't stand the thought of being alone with the kids for 10 days and not having anybody to spell me off if I need to take a break from them. DC will be back in school by then and they have wraparound care, but evenings and weekends will be all me. Which is usually fine, but I'm just teetering on the edge lately.
DC have been acting up lately, DS (7) being more than usually neurotic and tearful, and DD (5) being a stroppy little thing. My best friend says they can probably tell something's going on, between Mum's illness and the impending move. And we're having to make decisions about schools, and I'm having to write naice letters to registrars when all I want to do is either scream or eat my body weight in chocolate. And I really want DH to give me a hug and tell me everything will be fine, but he's currently avoiding me. If anybody has any words of wisdom, I'm all ears.