uncle-update

[delicatematter]

The DC in charge of DH case against Uncle visited this morning.
He went over DH statement and got him to sign it and then he told him that Uncle would be arrested next week and questioned.
Then they are getting his 4 children in one by one and asking them if anything has ever gone on and then they are getting his ex-wife (she made allegations of brutality against him some years ago) in and questioning her.
Uncle will probably be bailed but will not be allowed to return home, he will have to live somewhere else probably a bail hostel as he has children living at home and because an allegation has been made he cannot remain at home.

This has come as a complete shock to DH, he was tearful before as i think the reality of the situation has hit him, there is not going back now as he has signed the statement.

He doesnt want to change his mind but he,s worried now about recriminations.

The DC has told us that he will call as soon as the uncle is arrested and he will call when they have finished questioning him.

there is a family "do" tonight - uncle isnt going as he works nights we made sure of that, but there is a row brewing between DH and his dad and i can see it kicking off tonight, i dont want to go but DH is insisting that i do.

DM, I think your DH is being amazingly brave about this, not only for himself but also for the sake of other children this uncle might know.

I hope to God nothing starts tonight. The reaction of DH's father in all this has, IMO, and from what you've said, been dismissive and hurtful at best, and highly suspicious, provocative and collusive at worst. I'm not surprised you don't want to go.

Do you have any suspicions that dh's dad has always known about his brother's behaviour? Or that dh's dad is inclined the same way?

I find his reaction totally incomprehensible. I know that it's his brother, but your dh is his son and I cannot understand how he could possibly take his brother's side in all this - unless there is another agenda.

I dont think that FIL is the same as uncle, i think that he has suspected something for a while as he wasnt surprised when DH told him.

FIL and uncle are involved in dodgy dealings and he stands to lose a lot of money if Uncle goes down.

Last night DH was at FIL house with DD and DS and who should walk through the door but the uncle, so DH grabbed the kids and walked straight out of the door and came home.

Sorry, can you give me the original post link - I think I know what this is about reading between the lines tho.

Once again I have to say I think your husband is being such a brave man, many lesser men would bury their head and hope it went away. By lesser I don't mean worse or weaker, I mean helpless, powerless... I know, I've been there, still am. He has more guts and courage than that coward of an uncle can ever have. My heart goes out to him and you at this time, and I hope his bastard if an uncle gets what he deserves xxx

Your dh is being really brave, I admire him for his courage in this, though I don't know the details which you may have shared elsewhere.

If your fil doesn't stand up for his son and others affected by the uncle's behaviour, then fil is as culpable too. You say that fil wasn't surprised - I think that in many instances, people 'know' and don't want to think of it, so pretend they don't. An honourable person would react in some way, wouldn't they, if they learned some horrifying information like your dh told your fil?

Your dh has been very courageous, and it can't have been an easy thing to do, knowing that there is likely to be family fall-out and heaven knows what else. Thankfully he has you to support him, delicatematter.

Rooting for you, and your dh.