Just need to vent.

[Allinson2014]

I'm not sure why I'm posting, I don't need advice, I just want to get it off my chest really. My DH suffers with a sleep disorder and occasionally acts out his dreams. Last night I came back from settling the baby to find him asleep with his glasses on. I tried to wake him to tell him and he said he needed them on to fix something. His glasses are expensive so I tried to wake him again and he started shouting at me, saying how could I not know, why didn't I help him that I'm thick. Now I KNOW he was dreaming but to be "told off" like that really upset me and made me cry.

I know how irrational I sound but I still can't really get over it this morning. We've talked, he has no recollection at all and is mortified. I've tried to be rational and I think it's upset me for a couple of reasons. Firstly m DH is a lovely kind and supportive man and would never speak to me like that. Also I was previously in a DV relationship and he would tell me I was stupid and that no one else would want me all the time. I think it's reminded me of that.

I feel like crying today though. I've got three under 7 including a newborn. I didn't sleep much as the baby was up and I was upset and all of us are full of cold and feeling rubbish. I really wish I could just go straight back to bed today.

Like I said I'm not really looking for any advice. I just wanted to write it down really. My DH wasn't aware of what he said and I should just let it go really and not let it upset me. Other people have much worse problems than this.

Aw

Sounds like you are exhausted no wonder you feel sensitive and delicate!
Hopefully your DP is there for a hug? It's OK to cry over silly things.

You have a newborn.
You are sleep deprived.
You are more than justified in having a good cry about this.
It upset you, for very good reason and your feeling are valid.
Get your DH to help a lot over the weekend and try to catch up on some sleep.
It will get better. Keep going.

Thanks. No he's not here, he's at work. I'm counting down the seconds until he gets home though.

Our four year old is also going through a particularly difficult tantrum stage at the moment too and I've been finding that really hard.

I think I might take them to the park, at least me and the baby will get a tiny bit of peace while the other two run about. Thanks for the replies.

Is your DH getting treatment for this sleep disorder?

Don't want to alarm you but..... man kills wife in his sleep

He's not at the moment. It is something we might look into though. It's not a regular occurrence, usually only when he's stressed and he's changing jobs at the moment so that probably why.

Prior to last night the episodes have been very brief so I'm not sure that there would be much benefit to treatment but it's definitely something for us to consider.

Er that's worrying reading. Maybe we should visit the dr!

If it upset you as much as you describe and if he is as decent as you say he is, then you should be honest with him and he should be beating a path to the GP's door, demanding specialist treatment.

He has offered to go to see the dr before but I haven't really seen the point so I think I've probably talked him out of it. The episodes are every few days during stressful times but can be months apart at other times. They only last a few seconds and typically he sits up and talks or looks under the bed. He's never frightened or upset me before.

However, I think we will probably have another chat tonight because he did upset me last night and he didn't think he was capable of that so who knows what he's capable of in his sleep really. Worrying.