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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU to feel a bit let down by DH over his internet history

29 replies

TwistAndPout · 31/07/2014 09:45

Have nn changed for this.

I don't know, I feel like I'm getting a bit upset over nothing but I'm not sure.

Years ago (around 7 or 8 years ago) when DH and I were quite new together I discovered a porn stash on his computer. I felt upset by this as it made me feel like I wasn't enough or doing enough and why did he feel the need to look at it. if it was something we looked at together it would be one thing, but it felt a bit like he was going behind my back. I spoke to DH about it and he said it wasn't a big thing, he'd deleted everything and wouldn't look again, he wasn't bothered about it. Nothing has since been mentioned or referred to about this.

So I've just been on his computer to do something and found out he seems to relatively regularly (as in weekly, sometimes more, sometimes less) looking at provocative/naked/semi naked pictures of celebs. They seem to originate from yahoo news and links he must see as he's browsing and looks on them. Some pictures have just been looked at once and others he has been back to/seen a number of times kate middletons bum

I don't know whether this is just completely normal behaviour and I'm making a fuss feeling a bit let down/upset. I don't know whether DH is actively going against what we agreed since it's not actual porn on proper porn sites. I don't really know what to think but I feel a bit upset about it all. Any clarity and judgement from an outsider would be appreciated. I don't know whether to bring this up with DH or not as he'll know I was nosing at his internet history...

OP posts:
Cantbelievethisishappening · 31/07/2014 15:13

Twist I'm also a control freak but in different areas of my life. Perhaps you need to look at why you feel so let down by this.... Is it a trust issue? Does he make you feel I adequate in some way? He may not even know he is doing it.

TwistAndPout · 31/07/2014 15:28

Jan do you mean the deleted online history = porn?

cant I think it's partially trust, partially just feeling let down by him and let down by myself that he felt the need to (I realise the latter is likely out of proportion)

OP posts:
Cantbelievethisishappening · 31/07/2014 15:38

Perhaps it is t necessarily a need for him.... It may be more to do with opportunity. I often find myself looking at images in the internet not because I felt a need but mostly because they were there. I didn't really think to much about it.

Jan45 · 31/07/2014 15:45

it has always been freshly deleted so I'm always hmm as to why it's deleted and if there's a reason why he's deleting everything and if he's hiding something

This OP, if it's not porn, it's something he doesn't want you seeing, if you found porn in the past perhaps he's never stopped it.

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