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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would it be unreasonable to cancel dates with my friends?

8 replies

NannyStar · 15/09/2006 10:34

I have a new job starting on Monday. My first job since the beginning of July and it's not nannying. It's customer service work working in a huge call centre. I am really nervous about it and was told last Friday that I got the job so I thought 'great - a week to get used to the idea of work and then a nice relaxing weekend up to the run up of my first morning. One friend who I met thru my last work - she worked next door to my work is considerably older than me. I am 22 she is in her 40s but hey ho we get on well although she has recently divorced and 'got together' with an old friend who lives abroad and comes over to work just in the summer season. He treats her like absolute crap and uses her no end but of course she talks about him like he is the most perfect thing in the world and although she hasnt said it she has fallen for him big time and this pig takes perfect opportunity of this and when we're together she talks about him no end. One of her internationals who stays with her is going home Sunday so they are throwing a leavingparty for him at his work and she asked me to go. I love this woman, she is so lovely but she doesnt give me opportunity to turn down her invites really, even if its just round to her house. She mithers til I say yes. So of course I am going to some leaving do on saturday but with my new job, recent break up of my relationship and other personal things I just don't want to go. If I say I dont want to go because of my new job on monday and other personal things would it be rude?

Other friend I have the same dilemma with I am supposed to be seeing Sunday. She is nice but immature. We're the same age yet if we go in a bar and she spots some goodlooking men she will mither and mither me to go over and chat to them and will often push me over in their direction just like young teenage girls would. Err no thanks! I have to admit, although this girl is incredibly lovely, I find it a chore seeing her as we have nothing much in common anymore. I also admit that I cancel dates with her quite regularly just because I get other more important things to do such as interviews or because I can't be bothered . Would it be nasty if I cancel both of these?

OP posts:
NannyStar · 15/09/2006 10:35

p.s. to the 'gramatically correct crew' I am sorry about the appalling lack of grammar and whatever else in this!!!

Oh the shame!

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mumblechum · 15/09/2006 10:40

No, if they're good friends they won't mind. What I'd do, tho, is say can't make it x day, lets get together y day instead (but stick to the y day, or they will get pissed off).

MrsBigD · 15/09/2006 10:45

Nannystar, sounds like you have enough valid reasons to cancel. Especially starting a new job the next day. If they're good friends they'll understand. Just ask them to reschedule

NannyStar · 15/09/2006 10:51

Thanks mumblechum and mrsbd...I won't let them down again!

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wartywarthog · 15/09/2006 11:51

yes, i'd cancel and make another date in the future. don't lie, try not to explain why, but if they ask just say you have too much on your plate and you need time to yourself before your new job. and don't budge.

mumblechum · 15/09/2006 11:52

btw, nannystar, how are things at home now? ignore if i'm being 2 nosy.

oxocube · 15/09/2006 18:33

Congrats on the new job Nannystar. Hope everything is getting better for you.

NannyStar · 17/09/2006 20:03

Hello all, thanks for the advice.

You're not being nosy mumblechum - I really appreciate your concern. Things are as bad as ever but hopefully my new job tomorrow will bring brighter prospects and enable me to move into my own place away from her.

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