We don't have DC so a bit different. We've been together nearly 20 years.. The only time either of us would very make any negative comment about the other going out would be if we hadn't spent an evening together in a few weeks. With our lives and jobs we can go a few days where we only see each other in bed and one if us will be snoring.
The 'don't trust other men' is shit and at worst victim blaming.
Does he think you're so feeble that you'd go out some randomer would say 'let's have a shag' and you say yes.
And as for the while you say you were only talking to that man but X says you were kissing.
All it means is that he doesn't trust you. This can go one of several ways, you will become smaller and smaller to try and fit in to the tiny box he wants you in. Or you start telling him if he doesn't trust you it's his problem either he gets help or he shuts up and behave.
I recommend the second.
Because next it will be timing how long you're out of the house shopping or at the doctors, and if you take more than 5 minutes extra or decide to pop in to Boots because they have a great 2-4-1 offer you be accused of being up to no good. And after a while you won't leave the house at all. Sorry if this sounds like scaremongering but I have seen it happen.
I once worked with someone who met a 'lovely' man so nice considerate etc. he had a 'bitch' of an ex who cheated on him. . .
Started off with him coming to work nights out, even if it was a work mates only night. Then she stopped coming. Then she couldn't meet for lunch/coffee, we worked shifts he worked 9-5. But he didn't like her not being there when he got in. Always using the excuse that this was what his ex used to do. . .
By this point they were living together and pregnant. When she came back after having her little one it came out that he'd sold her car, and decided that he would pick her up from work, our late shift ended at 21:45. We assumed that it was a cost thing so all offered to help so he wouldn't have to come out with the baby. No. Not acceptable.
It got to a point where if she was 5 minutes late finishing she'd start to shake with panic.
We worked on a Acute Cardiac Unit, it was not unusual to not be able to leave on time. But instead of thinking shit someone must be in a bad way if they're out late, no she'd be accused of shagging a patient/ visitor/ staff.
She let slip that they'd been without hot water/ heat in Feb for 3 weeks because that was the earliest weekend appointment. He wouldn't allow her to be in the house alone with a workman, and refused to take a day off work.
She was so far in she saw nothing wrong with this. Then she reduced her hours. And eventually quit. Several of us tried to keep in touch to the point of turning up to the house, I realise this might make us seem a bit odd but but we didn't harass just knock if she didn't answer just stick a note in the door saying if you need anything just call. Only once a month or so. Then one month, they were gone, house was sold. No one including her family knew where they went.
Every time I hear/ read about yet another woman killed by an abusive partner/ husband I wonder about her. It's intirely possible of course that she's fine, it's as possible that she's dead and we don't know.
Sorry I didn't realise how long this was going to be.
