Help, I'm seeing a therapist on Friday and I'm shitting myself...

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

At the moment (well for some time really) I have a deep and profound disgust of sex, it's interfering with my relationship so I've arranged an initial meeting with a therapist to see if she can help me.

It's affecting my day to day life, but I do feel like it's a can of worms I don't want to open just now.

Help! I've seen therapists before but haven't really fully explored this and I'm frightened but I know it has to be done.

[thisisnow]

Don't be scared. You are doing it for a good reason. I have seen a sex therapist when I was only 23, I felt so embarrassed but within minutes I felt at ease and now I can tell her anything.

As long as you find the right person that you feel comfortable with you will be fine. Good luck!

[EBearhug]

When I went to my first session (about a different issue), I typed a summary of what I wanted to cover and handed it over, saying I found it difficult to say anything. Once we got talking, it was fine (mostly), it was the getting started I struggled with. Or you could read it out, rather than handing it over.

[Softlysoftlycatchymonkey]

EBear that is a fantastic idea. Wish I thought of that. I clamed up and wasted the entire session and didn't go back

[Tobyturtle]

Please try not to be worried, a therapist is there to help, not judge you. Just to reassure that you are not the only one that this is a problem for, I am seeing a therapist at the moment as I am unable to have sex with my husband. My husband is lovely and very supportive of me however I just can't have sex. My sex drive is good however I don't associate sex with a long term relationship, instead I see it as something that should be with someone who you dont know that well who you can seem 'sexy' with.

FWIW I have never suffered any sexual abuse in my life however this has happened with every partner that I've had, albeit after differing amounts of time.

Are you married/in a long term relationship? If so is your partner loving and supportive of you? Have you ever suffered sexual abuse in your life?

[ninetynineonehundred]

A good counsellor will let you take things at your own pace. It's a hard thing to talk about for a lot of people and clamming up is something they will have seen a lot. That was then and this is now. And you know what, even if you clam up again it doesn't matter. Something in you wants to get to the bottom of this and that part of you will win out over the scared part.
You do have the courage to do this. Good luck. Will be thinking about you

[ninetynineonehundred]

Sorry op - wasn't you that clammed up but even if the same thing happens to you that softly describes it's ok.

Softly, I'm so sorry that happened to you but it really is very common. I hope that you are able to go again one day and that it helps.

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I have a husband and 2 children so sex obviously wasn't always a problem! DH understands up to a point, but he feels rejected and doesn't always handle it as he should.

I've never been sexually abused but I was raped by one boyfriend and had another experience where I didn't consent but was too drunk to say stop if that makes sense?

I've also never had an orgasm with a man and I've convinced myself I'm physically deformed in some way as I've bought numerous sex toys and they do nothing for me.

I thought I'd dealt with all these problems in therapy before but obviously not. To be honest I'd rather just push these issues under the carpet and not deal with them as I know it's going to be difficult, but that's not fair on me or DH.