I need to leave help me get the courage to do so

[creole101]

I now know I need to leave but finding it really hard to just do so. I have been married for 8 years, we haven't had sex or intimacy for the last 4. I remember the last passionate kiss being 2009.

Since the birth of our daughter just over 4 years ago he decided he shouldn't have to pay towards her care as we both work full time. He told me it wasn't his responsibility. He then switched his salary from the joint account and would put in £400 - £500 each month, this then meant I would have to pay for all bills including take care of the children (I have an older daughter as well) So I pay about £2800 in bills and since this year he has started paying £700 from his £1800 per month job.

I feel as if life is passing me by, I have worked hard and have had a couple of recent promotions which means I am finally able to pay the household expenses without having to borrow from all and sundry. He has never bought anything bar a few pyjamas and a pair of trainers for his daughter and knows nothing about her care. He recently proudly announced he will buy her school shoes as she starts reception this year. He hasn't asked what she needs and how much it will cost just seemed really pleased he was getting her some shoes.

I just need the courage too pull the plug on this ridiculous situation I have found myself in. I thought I was intelligent and brave obviously not if I have stayed in this for so long.

Well done! You can definitely do it, just keep thinking the way you are and you will be fine.

And, 41 is still young to start again!

I have had a brilliant day today with my youngest in tow. I have come back to see so many messages of support. You guys are awesome. Why did I not find this sooner. I am looking forward to the weekend. Four yr old and I will be out shopping for school and going to the park.

He came in from work all nice and cheery as if we are a family and do anything together or share any purpose. He then says plans for bank holiday weekend, as if they should include him. I am going away for a few days with youngest child but this has nothing to do with him as we could never afford to do anything together. Gosh I love this single malarkey where you just plan your life how you see fit.

Thank you all so much for your encouragement, will be seeing mediator next week as agreed with her we should see mediators separately. I will keep you posted as I forge my new life with my two girls.

Just wanted to say good for you! It's always just been me & my dd and I wake up every morning thankful for that when I read what some women put up with...Society needs to get a grip & stop promoting the notion of 'coupledom at any cost'. Freedom is far, far more attractive but people still seem to want to tether themselves to often extremely abusive situations just to seem normal/fit in/because they are fearful ....of what?? If only people felt they could be more honest with what they wanted...for me I want to live happily with my daughter & have positive relationships too...If anything more serious develops then cool but it's certainly no end point. Life is for living not merely existing and all that!