Feel a tad lost in life, which direction to go, any suggestions?

[creativeme]

Hi there, I love this board as I was on here a year ago and everyone really made me see sense related to my ex and what a lot of you have said has all come true or made me realise a few things, thank you.

So, because of this, I may need your help again and hope this isn't too long.

I am 39, 40 next year, no children but own house, car, work for myself as a writer but I feel (how can I put this) lost.

I have worked in my career (self employed) for 6 years now and not sure what I want to do, because I work so much from home I am starting to feel demotivated and just bored to the point that I need a new challenge. Friends are great, I am joining a few more clubs, gym, netball, tennis etc which is great but something in my life is missing. Its like I need mental stimulation everyday and thinking shall I start a course, there is a 2 year part time counselling course i am interested in but not sure if this is really something i want to pursue anymore.....

What I am struggling with since splitting from my ex is finding someone else, not that I am desperately trying to, but they just havent been right for me, either workaholics, liars and no connection. I feel, for the first time in a long time I am looking to settle down with children now, hoping its not too late. However there is a part of me with my career that I feel I need to pursue more, but this isn't like me to feel demotivated or not excited about my career anymore. Or maybe its not time to pursue my career and just chill out.

So I am thinking, what do I do, normally I can feel something I really want to go into but I can't, everything else is going well, so this weird feeling does it mean, "just don't do anything and enjoy?" or start something new and see where it goes? I wish I knew, has anyone every had this feeling of stuck? frustration and worried in case you make the wrong choice?

The more I think about my work, as I am a therapist and writer and see people on a 1:1, I don't get the passion anymore I use to crave, which isn't like me, I am bored almost of my job too and don't get anything from it anymore, again not like me...so this is weird. On a good note working out at the gym, running, netball and tennis are working wonders for the brain when I get like this!

is it time to change career, but not sure what? or children, i wish i had an answer as i don't seem to have any and feel a tad lost!!

sorry its confusing, probably because I am confused myself and sending myself in a spin!!

thank you for reading, hopefully not sent you off into the same spin.....arghhh!! xx

You sound like someone who does need constant challenge and drive to feel satisfied in life, and if you've been doing your current job for 6 years and you feel bored, I'd say it's time for a career change, or at least a new direction or new level of ambition. What kind of writing do you do?

As for having children - have you considered going solo? Sounds to me like you have a lot you can offer a child as a single parent.

Hi OP. I can sympathise a bit as I'm feeling similar. I think it's quite common to feel this way post-breakup. Your job sounds like it could be a challenge at times and it sounds like maybe you do need some chill time. I do have children, but understand that perhaps you are at an age and stage in life where you would like to go down this route. Finding Mr Right isn't easy, I know, so try not to stress about it too much. Going to the gym, etc is good for your mental health as well as a great place to meet men.
Maybe take up the course you were considering or go travelling for a bit. Try something new. It's not easy I know. I've just taken on a new promotion and I'm spending time doing up my house which is quite a challenge!
I wish you luck x

Thank you LittleLadyFooFoo (love this name) I think what you are saying is right, weirdly thinking shall I go off somewhere to develop another side of my self whatever that may be. Retreat was one of them, i think maybe a course and travel sounds like a good idea, and yes I do like a constant challenge.....many lots of different things will keep my mind active, I am hoping it does, which I think could be the answer...thank you x

I think the Counselling course will be enriching. For me going on one was life changing as I had and still have a lot of issues. Even if you don't become a counsellor you will learn so much about yourself. You have nothing to lose as you feel unhappy and dissatisfied anyway. If you do go on one will you let us know how you got on please ?

How about doing something that you wouldn't normally do like a cookery course, or learning to row or taking off to China or wherever. Something to shake you up a bit.

Or fostering children?

I can totally relate to this, but for some reason can't shape any sensible sentences to tell you so.

Two practical things that I would do in your shoes (indeed have done at similar times) are try St John's Wort, just to take the edge off that sense that nothing is worthwhile, and also - if this is an affordable option - go on a Skyros holiday. Most people go on their own, there are all sorts of personal development and writing courses on offer and people there range from their twenties to their seventies. I've been twice and both times it has been life-changing (and I am still friends with people I met on the first one, fourteen years down the line). www.skyros.com It's sort of like a retreat, only with a fantastic Greek island and wonderful food and drink.

Wow, thank you everyone, liking the sound of skyros etc, not sure about St john's wort as I know this interferes with the pill etc and I wouldn't say I am edgy or feeling down/depressed etc just looking for new things to keep my brain active and I guess another outlet re work, as I may have outgrown my job and looking for another avenue but I do sense deep down it may be related to starting a family of my own and finding myself maybe like you all said - so i will start with a retreat perhaps?
yes will definitely let you know how you got on, i did level 2 counselling last year and loved it and felt i learnt a lot but not sure if i can commit to 2 years just yet but it could be a learning curve you are right there. so will see..retreat and counselling course...so glad i came on here glad i am not the only one who has these moments that can only be described as "restless, confused but content!"