Feel like childhood best friend is down on me

[feelsoshit88]

I posted another thread on here about my relationship breakdown and how down I am about it and you were all really helpful and I wanted to ask another question to get some advice.

I have a lot of really close friends, but one in particular had been a friend since we were in our early teens and we were sort of always two peas in a pod but I have always felt like she often takes opportunities to knock me down.

On the one hand, she is the person I can tell anything to, and I know when push comes to shove she always has my back. She is also a lovely person and is kind and generous and a lot of fun. I know she'd give me her last buck if I needed help.

On the other hand, she hurts my feelings a lot. If I am dating someone she often tells them things that reflect me in a bad light. She often makes slightly catty remarks. She is doing this to me quite a lot right now when I'm at my lowest ebb and need to be built up instead of knocked down.

Sometimes she has really let me down as a friend too. I don't want to go into details but there have been a few things she has done that have really hurt and have been big let downs and I have always forgiven and forgotten.

Maybe on the end of my partner walking out on me and my kid and me feeling so sick of being dealt a hand of shit this has just got to the point where it really, really annoys me.

I have tied to talk to her. She acts like I am being a drama queen and tells me not to be stupid. I really don't know how to handle it. We live quite far away and while in my heart she is like a sister i am starting to feel like this isn't how friendship feels.

She isn't like that with anyone else.

Sorry you are going through this and sorry to be harsh but she doesn't sound like a real friend. She may be someone you have a lot of history with and you have known a long time, but someone who really had your back would not try to sabotage potential new relationships or make catty remarks, particularly when you are going through something like this.

When we have trauma or trouble in life its natural to want to fall back on people we have known a long time and we think we can trust. But you have to be quite tough about this: you don't need people around you at the moment who are going to dent your self esteem just for the sake of it.

I would suggest you try to impress on her that you're not going to tolerate it any more because she is hurting you and hindering your ability to regroup after your relationship breakdown. If she is a real friend she will take this in good faith. If not, walk away from her.

She's not your friend she's your "frenemy". Keep your friends close, your enemies closer and your frenemies closest.
In RL delete, block and cut contact. She thrives in your misery.

Similar situation here although I haven't known my 'friend' as long as you.

For whatever reason, I actually feel worse about myself each time I see this friend and it's just not worth it. I too have had a lot going on and feel quite down on myself. I've decided I just don't need her adding unkind comments about things I have or haven't done.

Friendships don't always last forever. Sometimes it's best to know when to let go.

It sounds like jealousy to me. Ive learnt a lot about friendshuips in the last 2 years . Some people are only good friends when your life is rubbish. When it picks up, good things happen to you; new relationships, children doing well, coming into money, they can't stand it and begin to make nasty comments and put downs. I would focus on your other friendships. It may be that your friend is one of these kind of friends.

Thanks...I was hoping to salvage the friendship and just get her to stop behaving like that though as there's also a lot of good there.