So I've been with my current partner for around 6 months now and for the past few weeks we've been arguing a bit (over trivial stuff, typical!)
Well a few months ago we had an arguement and he said that I came across as patronising, as a result he refused to see or speak to me for 3 days. I'd text him every now and again and he just gave short, snappy replies. On the 4th day I rang him, and he was fine! I said that I didn't want to deal with this anymore and it wasn't fair, and he went on about how he was just about to ring me a bit later once he'd had a shower and that he was really sorry etc. etc. After that I had a serious talk with him and said that I was disgusted with the way that he acted and that if he ever did that again then it would be over.
And that now brings us to here, at the minute he lives over an hour away and most of my stuff is at his house. So basically should we break up I'll have to get the train and go and get it, although I'd hope that he'd meet me at the station with it all to make my life easier.
But anyway, on Friday evening we had another arguement over the phone, and apparantly I was being patronising so he hung up on me. I then sent him a text (which I know now was a HUGE mistake) saying to call me back and apologise for hanging up or its over (I KNOW IT WAS STUPID)
He then goes on a massive rant about how it should be me who apologises, he was genuinelty offended that I didn't ring him straight back to apologise!!
I tried to explain that I would apologise for my behaviour, however just hanging up the phone was the total wrong way to go about it. He disagreed and stood by his arguement that it was fine to hang up on me because he didn't want to listen to it anymore, I said why not just say so instead of hanging up and then getting pissed because I won't call you back to apologise!!
I said that in my world if I hang up on someone then I don't want to speak to them, therefore when he hung up on me I assumed that he didn't want to speak to me- not that he wanted me to ring him back with some grovelling apology.
Anyway as it pans out he then goes "I don't know if I can do this anymore" and says that part of him wants to break up with me and part of him doesn't. I said "Well if you want to or are leaning more towards breaking up with me then I'd appreciate it if you'd do it now rather than dragging this out." and he replied with "I don't want to drag this out for you but I just don't know."
I was polite with him and he said that he would speak to me soon and let me know what's going on.
Now personally I believe that you pretty much know if you want to break up with someone, especially when they say "if you're gonna do it, do it now" And from a logial point of view I would have thought that if he was going to break up with me then he would have done it by now.
Also, it's now Sunday so he 110% knows what he's going to do- he's just playing stupid games and not contacting me. I don't know whether it's beacause he's still sulking, or because he wants to 'punish me', or because he's scared.
I considered the perspective that he might want to break up with me but be scared, however that makes no sense because 1. He's broken up with girlfriends in the past and 2. Surely he would have done it when he was still angry and when I told him to do it if that's what he intended.
Now unlike last time he ignored me, this time I have made no effort to contact him and I won't.
Now then, if he breaks up with me then I know what I'm going to say- I'm just going to agree with him and say that it's for the best. There is no way that I'm going to beg and plead and cry, I did that once before with a previous partner and all it achieved was making me lose self respect.
However, I'm not entirely sure what to say if he wants to be with me- I'm certainly not going to collapse into floods of joyous tears and say how blessed I am to have such a stellar example of a man back!
I guess what I'm asking here is:
- What do you guys think he's going to do? He is more likely to break up with me or not?
- If he wants to be together, whats the best way to react/things to say?
I'm only asking these questions because I hate the not knowing, it's so frustrating! I just want to know where I stand so that I can deal with it.
Also I am unsure about whether I want to continue this relationship after all this, as frankly I have better things to do than deal with a manchild who sulks for days. However before making that decision I want to hear what he has to say and I want to get my stuff back, ie. if he wants to stay together then I will listen to what he says, go and see him this weekend and get my stuff and then have a think about whether this is what I really want.
I know that last time he sulked I said that I would end it, however as I mentioned before making that judgement I do want to get my stuff back as I have a lot of important things at his apartment and I'd like to retrive everything as amically as possible.