How important are looks

[Blossum123]

In a long term relationship how important are they ?
Do u aim to look as slim trendy well groomed as when u met ?
I try but it's hard esp as the yrs go by

In answer to the orignial question......not very. My own experiences/observations are:

My wife has had 3 children. Carrying and having 3 children has taken its toll on her physically. To me though, that battle-scarred weariness sort of makes her even more attractive. And sometimes I get a glimpse of how beautiful she is - and I tell her. If I was just looking at it objectively though (without all the shared experience of 3 kids, etc.) I'd say she's some way short of where she was.

My wife's mother was very attractive in her younger days. She's now older (60+) and her marriage to FIL is in some sort of limbo, because the entire relationship was predicated on looks - which have now evaporated - and she realises that they have nothing in common and probably did fairly early on to be honest, want different things, but can't afford to divorce.

My daughter (and son) it's too early to tell with the latest arrival are ridiculously good looking I really really really worry that their relative attractiveness will become the most interesting thing about them. Our daughter has been asked to model several times (by proper agencies, not con artists) and we've resisted because we worry that she'll start to measure her self worth (like her maternal grandmother) by how attractive she is. I can see it being a curse as well as a blessing.

We all have different definitions of what we find attractive but I'd say you must find your partner attractive and letting yourself go is never a good idea, even for your own self esteem.