How much time do you and your DH/DP spend together?

[Slipslidingtheway]

Been married ages, DCs left home recently.
I've become increasingly fed up with how some of the time my DH lives like a single bloke. But not sure if I'm being unfair and clingy.
I work, mainly from home, p/t. I am busy-ish but have no family nearby and my close friends are too far away /working to see often or during the week. So I can go a whole week without seeing anyone though have online/phone contact and a neighbour who I see for a chat etc.
DH goes away with work for 2 days every fortnight and sometimes every week, plus overseas trips as and when.
This week he was away from 8am Tuesday to 9pm Thursday. I had 2 clients for work plus coffee with a friend so wasn't sitting at home all day.
This morning he went out at 8.30 for the gym-personal session - and came back 4 hrs later having been 'shopping' and having a coffee in town.

I am beginning to feel resentful. He loves work and puts a lot of energy into it. We don't go out at all during the week as he's rarely home before 7 and sometimes stops off at the gym en route home so he's back at 7.30

Also because I'm at home I tend to do 90% of the housework, fitted around my work. Getting him to do any is a case of nagging.

He used to do gym Sunday mornings too- again out half the day by the time he'd had a coffee- but I got very cross and he stopped.

He is not seeing another woman. It sounds silly but he does really love me and gets upset when I say he neglects our relationship. Am I just whinging?

It's not use him getting upset if he then goes and carries on as normal. That's not constructive at all I expect he's always been this way but, if there are DCs around, his tendency to do his own thing hasn't been quite so noticeable. You need to make time for each other pretty urgently. Diarise it if necessary. Diarise the household chores as well for that matter. Some method and organisation for home and relationship both badly needed.

That doesn't sound too bad to me, tbh. Would you still have a problem with it if you were getting out and about more?

My DH does quite a few activities, and I do too. We tend to have a conversation about what we individually want to do in the coming weekend, and then work out the best timings to fit around DC and get some time together too.

I think it's about getting quality time together, rather than quantity. If we are just watching shit on tv, one of us may as well be out for a run, imo.

This only works because

1. DH easily pulls his weight with house work
2. When I want to do something, he drops everything and bends over backwards to make it happen - which balances out the extra freedom he has, because I'm ebf a bottle refusing baby.

So, imo, the house work is a big issue. The time problem is only an issue if you are happy and fulfilled in your own life and still find it a problem.

We spend lots of time together cause we enjoy it. Chilling or going out together. My eldest has just moved out. He works and I am setting up my own business. He always consults me regarding his plans first. This is a new phase in our lives and we are making lots of plans.