DP asking me to 'rate' his friends

[UnderEstherMate]

DP and I have been bickering a lot over the past few days as a result of misunderstandings, tiredness and, admittedly, my PMS. The atmosphere is quite tense, but he keeps doing weird things like casually showing me pictures of his friends (gym fanatics) topless and asking me whose abs I think are best. (I'm not into muscular men much and like DP as he is, but think he's trying to catch up with them.)

This makes me uncomfortable, firstly because I don't particularly want to see his friends without their shirts on, and secondly because I certainly don't want to have to 'rate' them! I explain this to DP, but he seems to think that I am just lying because apparently most ladies just fall at their feet (he hasn't said this, but this is the impression I'm getting.)

With the atmosphere already being so tense, this is just making me want to scream. It's causing unnecessary trust issues but I don't know how to approach it without another argument erupting.

A) He wants to screw his mates.

B) He has a fantasy about you screwing one of his mates.

C) He wants to have a threesome.

D) He wants to get a free pass to rate YOUR mates.

I'd go with D personally. But it seems to be very odd behaviour.

Some people really are clutching for an issue here. Is just assume that he was feeling insecure and wants you to tell him how attractive he is as how you wouldn't exchange him for one of his mates with a "better body".

This neediness can be annoying and clingy if it's constant but if a little reassurance will make him feel better then it could be a very simple solution.
As you are arguing, he might be questioning if you still fancy him. It's not very attractive at times but I wouldn't instantly assume anything sinister.

I remember doing something similar when I was in my early 20's and hitting the gym for the first time.

It wasn't pictures of friends though, but a selection of women from magazines. I wanted my partner at the time to rank them so that I could build a composite 'perfect female body' model to aim for in my head, one that he would find irresistible.

It did come from a place of extreme insecurity, and as I got more obsessed (with changing my body and with him) it did eventually extend to asking him about virtually any/every woman we passed.

No idea if this is where your partner is coming from, but I recognise that behaviour pattern.

He sounds very immature rather than insecure.

I think you can use the stock MN phrase for this one.

ODFOD!!
Done!

I'm thinking he's gay too. Or at least, curious?

As others have said, most likely it's a trap so that in the future he can throw in your face that you fancy blokes X, Y, Z. I'd suggest not playing that game, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.

He wants something from you. it makes you uncomfortable. You ask him not to demand this from you again. He persists. Ergo: your feelings are much less important to him than his own desires.

The motivation for showing you the pictures and cross-examining you about them are probably sinister. I'd just refuse to go there. I suspect this is actually just the thin end of the wedge.

I'd go along with SlicedAndDiced's A, B, C and D but suspect it's a combination of all four of them.

I don't think he's gay. Insecure, possibly, and an idiot, probably, but I'm almost certain he's not gay.

I do appreciate your responses though and it has given me a lot to think about. We have been together for seven years, with out fair share of ups and downs. There have been some trust issues in the past, but they were a long time ago and things have been smoother since (until now.)

The other misunderstandings if mentioned are just silly things; taking offence to each other's tones of voices, etc.

I think it's a combination of insecurity and lack of trust to be honest, which of course is a bigger issue than topless friends. I will tread carefully on this one. Thanks!