October holidays ... AIBU to think

[Mum4Fergus]

That if x has no plans over the hols but I do and they involve flights/accomodation that I can go ahead and book? It will mean DS with me Fri-Wed then with x Wed- Sun...bearing in mind x is a teacher and off the whole week anyway...

Can't you ask him before you book?

YANBU to think it, but why are you asking mn? You need to discuss this with your exh, or is there a problem with this?

I have but says he will let me know 'in a few weeks' what his plans are...I want to book and get a decent price for DS and I.

Maybe I'm just pi$$ed off that x is now off for 7 weeks but refusing to have DS for anything more than his usual 2 sleepovers so I'm forking out for childcare ...

Just do it.

Ah....welcome to my world....

Surely x wants best for DS - have you explained you want to book flights now to get good price??

Yep, told him all that...sometime I feel he just grasps any opportunity he can to try to exert a bit of his (lost) control ...

Just book it

Yup, you are indeed in my world.

Just book it then and tell him what plans you have made as he had no firm plans in place. Be prepared for potential conflict when he finally deigns to reveal his own plans (in my experience) but you have proposed a fair split of the holiday period as far as I can see.

Hope you and DS have a great time

So, it's not that you want to go away without ds and for ex to provide childcare? You want to take ds somewhere, but it will impact on your ex.... how?
If he has no firm plans now, then I'd say he can whistle. Go ahead and book. You've given him fair warning.

Oh absolutely...holiday is for DS and I to go together, not just me.

Does it impact on his contact time? Does he have PR? Do you have sole residency?

Either of you need each other's consent yo take the children out of the country.

Joint parental consent...he will have more time with DS than normal during the week concerned.

Responsibility even...DS only 4 and x named on birth certificate.

Book it.

Fuck him.

The only way he will learn is that you show him you won't be hanging on waiting for his say so,

And he needs to pay for half the childcare, or help provide it.

If he had firm plans, he'd know about it, he doesn't. So there is nothing to stop him planning his contact around your plans for once.

and he needs to pay for half the childcare, or help provide it

Really Hissy ? That isn't the case in Scotland but I guess you are in England as we are in the 4th week of school summer holidays now.

Oh OP I feel your pain! 7 weeks of holidays, ex has kids for 10 days. Not even a question of how I'm managing work and childcare. Miserabe fucker

I hope youve booked it now xx

Ah Mum4 and BitOOP thanks for proving I'm not the only in that boat

BOOKED

Yay!!!!

well done you

You snooze, you lose! X take note!

Good for you! :)

Ré childcare, it's a joint child related expense, of course both parents should share care/costs of holiday care.

Hi Hissy
I agree, it should be shared, but that isn't always the case and you cannot force them to pay it if that takes them over the CSA calculation.

Equally, you cannot force them to take the kids, even if they have agreed to it in the divorce paperwork, as I have just discovered!!

He's not clean, just swapped the chemical. Leave him xxxx

That posted on the wrong thread! Oops sorry xx